Counting one's blessings this season

“If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.” (Oswald Chambers)

Last night my siblings (some came down from Malaysia) and I had a big gathering at a neighbourhood coffee shop. Though it was not an S$888 per table dinner, we had a wonderful time. I was reminded of Teresa Lim’s article ‘Counting one’s blessings this season’ (ST 15th Dec 2012).Yes, Christmas is about relationships, not presents or indulgence. She wrote, “The Christmases I loved best in Singapore after my father died when I was young, were the ones my mother and I spent on our own with a small roast chicken, a sauce of belacan and asparagus for a tin.”

The expectation from almost everyone during this season of the year is always ‘be happy’ but in reality statistics shows that more people get depressed at Christmas than any other time of the year. People are under great pressure not to show sadness. Let’s be sensitive to those, who for one reason or another, are sad and may we extend God’s grace to them.

This year happened to be the 200th anniversary of Charles Dickens’ birth who wrote the famous ‘A Christmas Carol’. I hope none of us needs to be jolted by the ‘supernatural visits’ like Scrooge in order to be transformed to a person of kindness, generosity and warmth.

Below is one great Christmas story which I would like to share this Christmas:

 ‘A pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, reopened a church in suburban Brooklyn. Excitedly arriving in early October, they saw the opportunities to accomplish something good before them. When they first laid eyes upon the church, they found it to be very run down and in need of much work. They set a goal, though, to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on Dec 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest hit the area, lasting two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed a local business having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in.

One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she said, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. To his astonishment, he found that they were. These being the initials of the woman. She had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it, for the pastor told how he had just acquired the tablecloth.

The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighbourhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare at the Tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made many years ago in Austria before the war and how could there be two Tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.’

Living in 2012

Living in 2012 means-

You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave

You have not played solitaire with real cards for years

You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you

Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses

Leaving the home without your mobile phone is now a cause for panic

You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee



(shared by WWY)

Psalm 23 - The Lord is my shepherd

This Christmas season is good for us as Christians to refocus on our relationship with God. It is said that how you view God affect your relationship with Him. If you view Him as a severe judge, you will interpret your problems as God’s judgement rather than an opportunity to experience His tender love and care in moment of troubles.

Psalm 23 undoubtedly is the most famous psalm. We do not know when David wrote it but it was at a time when his son Absalom who tried to become king, pursued after him. He went to a place called Gilead. There he met Barzillai, a shepherd who kept sheep. Barzillai gave David food and shelter. In this psalm, he described his relationship to God using the imagery of the shepherd and his sheep.

God is depicted as a good shepherd who gives tender care, feed and sustain one’s soul. He goes ahead of His sheep, lead them from one good pasture to another. The rod resembles correction and guidance, not to hurt but to direct the sheep back into the right paths. Shepherd is the only profession in this world that uses the staff which is actually a slender pole with a little crook on the end. He uses it to reach out and prod back the sheep in the right direction. Jesus says He is a good shepherd who protects His sheep and lays down his life for them. He is no hired hand who flees when the wolf approaches. Shepherding is not an occupation to look upon with favour. In fact it is a job to be avoided as the work is dirty and hours are long.

Those who belonged to Him are like sheep leading to still water. Still water symbolises quiet waters of spiritual refreshment through His Word as compared to murky pools of the World. The sheep are dumb, dirty and defenceless animals (have you seen them been trained for animal shows?). They are easily go astray and follow their self-determined ways (aren’t we like them?). They do not need to fear evil as the good shepherd is with them, not even death which may appear as a dark valley. The anointing of oil on the heads of His sheep symbolises Him as a generous host, giving His flock comfort, assurance in time of distress. Sheep that are fully satisfied, and at home, will have no desire to part with their shepherd.

Food preferences when one gets old

‘Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.’
(Proverbs 16:31)


The church I am attending has some social outreach programs. One of these is visit an aged home once a month. Recently members are asked to donate some food items to these old folks with Christmas coming soon. There are a dozen food items listed and I am surprised by the ‘high priority’ items listed. Some of us probably labeled them as ‘unhealthy’ foodstuffs: canned braised peanuts, kernel corn, instant noodles and vegetarian Lor Hon Zai.

I guess when one gets old, his food preference changes . Foodstuffs that were previously frown upon now become his preference choices. This was what happened to my mum. Before that, she used to reprimand her children whenever they ate sweet things. However, when she herself grew old, she loved ‘kit-kat’ chocolate waffles and candies. We let her ate what she wanted as it is better to let her enjoy her remaining years.

Public morality & decency

‘Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.’ (I Corinthians 6:18)

When someone publicized his sexually explicit photos and video through the internet, can he still say that he is doing them at his personal time and as a private individual? Or is it merely a ‘victimless’ crime (since it involves only willing participants) as no one has been harmed or hurt through the process?

We live in an individualistic society to the point we think this is the way that all people should live. The root of individualism is selfishness and self-glorification. Abigail Van Buren once said, “There are two kinds of people, those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are’, and those who say,’Here I am.’”

The new generation is growing up in a world of advanced technology. It brings both positive and negative influences. In area of values, they are often neutral; what feels good is good and wrong is relative. There is no clear definition of right and wrong.

Our society has to send a very clear signal of disapproval to such actions. History shows that a society that tolerates immorality would eventually lead to its downfall.

Love Language

It is said that the most basic need of any human being is feeling been loved. Love language can be expressed in different forms- physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time and gifts. I think of all, physical touch is the most powerful one and produces the greatest impact.

Studies had shown that those rats that had been licked and groomed by their mothers did better at finding their way through mazes. They were better able to control stress responses. The rats were also found to be more sociable and curious. In fact, they were able to live longer than the rest. When we translate these into human version, which means it makes sense for the mothers to hug, kiss and read to their babies. On the other hand, children from poor households often grow up under constant stress as the families struggle to survive most of the time. This makes them hard to thrive in school or succeed in the workforce.

My tutoring experience seems to support the above observations. Children from dysfunctional homes tend to be quiet, yet snap easily, impatient, lack of discipline, confidence and focus. How can we help these people to break the poverty cycle then? Many governments tend to take the easy ways out, such as giving grocery vouchers or put these people under welfare initiatives. The better ways seem to be providing early childhood education and parenting programs to this group of people.

In praise of Woman (just for laugh)

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed : `God, please give me the strength to cross the river.' God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: `God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.' God gave him a rowboat, strong arms and legs,  He was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: `God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.' Poof!! The man was turned into a woman! She checked the map, hiked 100 yards upstream and walked across the bridge!

(shared by FH)

Halloween

There shall not be found among you anyone...who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who ‘casts a spell, or a medium, or a spirit, or one who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord’ (Deuteronomy 18: 10-13)

Halloween, which was once an almost an exclusively American secular holiday, is gaining popularity in our society. I was in fact surprised that even my constituency’s RC organized such event this year. The last thing I expected from my child last week was when she asked for permission and 70 dollars to join the Halloween party on Sentosa. I gave a firm no and before I could explain my stand, she commented that my response has to do with my faith as a Christian. I was indeed happy to hear that remark for at least my child knows the basis of my life principles.

To me, Halloween is one of those celebrations where pagan cultures and practices been ‘Christianized’. It has its origin in the religious practices of the Romans and the Druids about 600 years ago. The Roman Catholic Church at that time decided to make the changeover from pagan religion to Christianity easier for the new converts, hence, allowed them to maintain some of their pagan feasts by celebrating them as "Christian" festivals. So instead of praying to their heathen gods, they would now pray to, and remember the deaths of saints. For this reason, the church decided to call November 1 the "Day of All Saints". The evening prior to this day was named, "All Hallowed Evening" which subsequently was abbreviated as "Halloween." 

Christian parents ought to see themselves as stewards of their possessions and protectors of their families. Christian young people should stay away from secular Halloween parties since these are breeding grounds for trouble and bring about social problems. I just don’t see how one can derives ‘fun’ from activities like colouring pictures of witches, listening to ghost stories, or wearing costumes associated with fictional characters-demons, monsters, vampires, werewolves, mummies etc. I came from a family deeply exposed to spiritualism because of my mum’s closeness to her childhood friend who is a powerful medium. No one should treat spiritualism lightly. It is real. My past experience makes me very sensitive to it, and embracing Christian faith has liberated me from the fears of such. 

In the book by Peter Wagner, Warfare Prayer, he gives an account of the influence of spiritualism in this city of Resistencia in Argentina. In that city, people all knew the names of the spirits that were ruling over it. San La Muerte, the spirit of death, was the most powerful. A large number of people there were so devoted to this spirit that they had tiny bone images of the idol surgically implanted under their skin or under their nipples, believing that this will assure them of a ‘good death’. There is also the spirit of division who brought terror especially to children at night. Curapi, is a spirit of sexual perversion, and Freemasonry, is the spirit of occult power.

Fruits, vegetables & toxins

‘Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.' (Genesis 9:3)

A Malaysian guy who claimed himself was the first-born to a young farming couple from Cameron Highlands, shared through the web his insights of the common practices of farmers there and the issue of vegetables and toxins. We all know pesticides are harmful both directly and indirectly. Pesticides that are sprayed on crops are also fed to farm animals. Residues are stored in the animals' fat and tissue, and enter our bodies when we eat the meat.

According to him, there are two kinds of chemical sprays used there, namely, the fungicides and the pesticides. The former are used to protect the plant from fungus and the latter against buds, snails, caterpillars etc. For the leafy veggie, normally less sprays are needed, especially when they are young unless there is an outbreak. Anyway, any spray at this juncture will have less harmful effects because the veggie would only be consumed many days later and the toxins could have gone. When the veggie is maturing, the farmers usually apply pesticides one week before harvest. Of course, not all farmers follow that faithfully.

The other group of plants is the beans or “qua” which can be harvested continuously for quite awhile. In order to protect the “plant” as well as the “fruit”, the farmers have no choice but to spray the plants with both pesticides and fungicides even if he is harvesting the fruits again the next day. For example, for example, if the harvesting period is 20 days, he may spray 1 or 2 times of the chemicals since the spray is only effective for a week. For long beans the harvest is on alternate days and the harvesting period is up to 35 days. Chilli and eggplants can last even longer. So for this group of beans/"qua", the chances of the fruits been contaminated with recent toxic sprays is very high. His advice is take more leafy veggie which should have less spray and for the other group of beans/"qua", try to soak them in water for a longer period. In fact, avoid eating with the “skins” or scrub them off. The risk of consuming chemicals outweighs the benefits of vitamins they may offer.

It thus appears to me, may be we should consider reducing eating those fruits that are difficult to peel or scrub, such as stairfruits, bitterguards, eggplant, beans etc.There are always substitutes in food chains. Water alone does not remove all traces of chemicals found in veggies and fruits. For people who always eating out, consuming those vegetables served by ‘mixed vegetable’ stalls don’t seem to be a wise choice. You just don’t believe how these workers washed the vegetables. In fact, they don’t even bother to wash some of them such as chilli and cabbage!

Here is one suggestion how to wash vegetables and fruits. I wonder how many of us bother to follow it consistently:-

First, fill a large bowl with warm water. Pour in 1/2 cup of salt and 1/2 cup of vinegar. Mix the solution well and put the fruits and vegetables into the bowl .Wash the outsides of them thoroughly with hands. Rinse them in clean tap water and dry them off using a towel.

Eating healthily

Eating well certainly is not the same as eating healthily. I find it difficult to ‘eat healthily’ even though I am not working now. The temptation is to give up the laborious and boring regime of ‘eating healthily’ in favor of ‘convenient’ food. In Singapore, it is just too convenient for people to eat out such that ‘eating out’ has become a lifestyle or hobby. If Singaporeans become increasingly unhealthy over the years, it probably have to do with the easy accessibility of eateries, making worst by the fact that more those newly established eateries served Western food rather than Chinese food. I still remember when I attended my mother’s funeral two years ago in Malaysia, I had a hard time looking for cooked food stalls even in a decent town.

To eat healthily, one really has to invest time, put in efforts and be disciplined. If I am a full-time worker, it would be an uphill task to adopt the diet regime I am now on. Typically I have to spend half-a-day preparing my daily meals- chop, slice, cut vegetables, meat, making juice, boil herbs, and many rounds of washing. To find outside food that is steamed, boiled or stirred-fry is difficult. More often than not, it is deep-fried, grilled or baked. Even for pastries, they are now usually topped up with cream, sugar, cheese, or chocolate. Plain food is hard to find now as ‘exotic’ food is more in demand.

'Gangnam style society?

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” (Luke 12:15)

The government has stepped in again to curtail the euphoria in the property market by restricting the tenure of mortgage loans. The fact that currently more than 45% of the new loans are at least 35 years or longer is indeed alarming. Maximum tenure is the game in property investment now. People are buying on the premises that interest rate and vacancy rate will stay forever low, and the monthly rental is sufficient to meet the repayment installments. The other presumption is that property price can only go one way-up (uninterruptedly)! When my friend recently told me that one of her clients, a medical doctor, actually owned eight properties, I realized where the huge demand for property comes from.

The ‘feel rich’ phenomenon is most pronounced in the last two years after the frenzy rise in the property prices. Many people are trying to borrow big and for longer period, hoping to make money to achieve their ‘dream lifestyle’ or ‘retirement fund’. The more disturbing thing is that older people are joining the 'party'. This ‘wealth illusion effect’ can make one being carried away and over-estimate his ability to service the loan. All these remind me of the ‘Gangnam style’ video by Korean singer, Psy. In most countries, it is the economy that the property market, but in this country, it seems the other way round. Are we creating a ‘Gangnam style’ society?

In Korea, Gangnam is the icon of the rapid economic development of South Korea in 1970s and 80s where landowners and speculators became wealthy practically overnight from the real estate investment frenzy. It has become the most wealthy and affluent area in the entire South Korea. Its name has come to be associated as a place where people are rich, girls are pretty and everything is supposed to be cool and fun, with upscale fashion and lavish lifestyle that set the trends for others to follow. However, it also inspires a mixture of desire, envy and bitterness, causing social rifts amongst the people. People living there spending big on foreign luxury goods to highlight their wealth while those who uphold the virtues of hard work and sacrifice finding themselves barely making ends meet.

Signs of  ‘Gangnam style’ culture is already here. There are more Lamborghini, Ferrari, McLaren found on the road (what can the owners do with these cars other than flaunt their wealth?); up-market restaurants are mushrooming, and not forgetting, more ultra luxury apartments designed by world renowned architects are built here.

'Poor English'

It has been said that it is easy to learn English but difficult to master it. Grammatical rules are at times confusing and difficult to remember. Just last Monday, The Straits Times carried a ‘Speak Good English’ quiz. Here are some interesting yet amusing examples of common grammatical errors:

1. No footwears allowed- ‘footwear’ is uncountable noun- If we add ‘s’, it means that something belongs to the footwear!

 2. We discussed about the holiday but I was not really paying attention- No preposition ‘about’ is required. The verb ‘discuss’ behaves like the verbs ‘consider’ but not like the verb ‘talk’.

3. Once you get this letter, revert back to me- ‘Revert back’ means to ‘go back back’. ‘Get back to me’ is more appropriate.

4. The staffs are specialists, recruited from all over the world-’Staff’ also means ‘stick’ or ‘rod’ which is countable. When we use ‘staffs’, we are saying that a collection of sticks were recruited instead of a group of employees!

Parents' intervention in education

‘For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.’ (Ecclesiastes 7:12)

‘Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.’ (Proverbs 4:13)

I have been giving tuition for free to this Primary 3 boy since February this year. He comes from a disadvantage home. So far, the progress he made has been slow though I put in my best efforts. May be this has to do with lack of parents’ intervention and strategizing in his education. I do think parents’ involvement plays a significant role in helping a child to do well in life later on. Education is the primary means here for socio-economic mobility. However in recent years, children from more successful people are found to do better than those from the lower-income families. Things have changed compared to the past. Children nowadays are generally less ‘self-reliant’ and motivated. So if they are left on their own, they may not do well under the present highly competitive education system.

Is every school a good school? I don’t think so especially for secondary school level onwards. Just ask those who are teachers. They will tell you that resources are not the same for all the schools. How do we assess a school? Again the most objective method is academic success. Given a choice, no parents would want to base their choice of school for their kids on non-academic yardsticks like arts, music and sports. Academic success is the most recognizable form of success in life to most people, so is our society. Just look at how scholarships are awarded. We are still far from giving our children a more well-rounded education which involves also areas like character development and nurturing compassion for humanity.

Parents can strategize their children education in different ways. One of them is through private tuition. Private tuition has its place for certain situations. Classroom style of tuition generally is not so effective but one-to-one tuition benefits academically weaker children like this boy, who do need help in what they could not understand in class. In a typical class of forty students, it is impossible for teachers to give individual attention to each child. Ironically, examination questions have becoming tougher over the years! In the past, I used to think that primary 3 is still a ‘play year’ until I taught this boy. In fact, primary 3 seems to be a ‘defining’ year , where a child has to build a good foundation so that he can handle well for his upper primary education.

Hope & will to live

‘Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.’ (Romans 12:12)

While waiting outside the consultation room for my surgeon to review my cancer marker and C T scan reports a couple of days ago, I saw a poster on the wall with this caption, ‘There is no medicine such as hope’. Indeed, the strongest instinct a person has is survival instinct. Hope gives us staying power even when we are in very challenging situations. When I read the remarkable cancer story of Lance Armstrong, the famous American cyclist who was recently banned by the United States Anti-Doping Agency (Usada) for life and stripped of his Tour de France titles for failing to answer doping charges, I couldn’t help but asked myself this pertinent question- would I give up hope if I was to be in the same kind of situation as him? 

Lance had ignored ominous symptoms for months, the soreness in his groin, bad headaches and difficulty in breathing, thought it is normal for a professional athlete to experience such aches and pains. One day while at home, he suffered a blinding headache and coughing up blood. By then, his testicle had swollen to three times its normal size. Later on same day in 1996 he was diagnosed with advanced 3rd-stage testicular cancer which had metastasized into his lymph nodes, abdomen, lungs and brain. The first team of doctors he consulted pulled his mom aside and told her she should prepare herself to lose her only child. He underwent two surgeries, one to remove his cancerous testicle and another to remove two cancerous lesions on his brain. Over a three-month period, he received four rounds of gruesome chemo. The doctors estimated that he had about a 40 percent chance of surviving. They later admitted his chances of surviving were actually much lower. His cancer went into complete remission miraculously, and by January 1998 he was back to serious training for bicycle racing. 

Below are some excerpts of what Armstrong said about his cancer experience: 

“I can now say that my life is better because of my cancer experience. I appreciate my life in a completely new and better way because I faced cancer and was lucky enough to survive.” 

“I also think that a person with cancer needs to seek out support from friends and family. I had a group of people there for me—to listen to me, cheer me on or remind me that I wasn't really alone. I was lucky to know that other people were invested in my survival; you can never overestimate the benefit of that kind of support and friendship.”

“Hope is the greatest weapon a person has. Ask the tough questions, get a second opinion, take care of yourself, and do whatever you have to do to keep hope alive.”

Empty nest syndrome

‘Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.’ (Proverbs 19:14)

‘Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.’ (Proverbs 20:6-7) 

With our children growing up and one of them is leaving us for awhile, we realized that very soon, our children will no longer need us as much as before, inadvertently this ‘empty nest’ syndrome will be experienced by us. The ‘true’ level of our marital relationship will reveal. It is then couples realized how deep or shallow are their relationships with each other.

When our children are with us, they have become our “mediator”. Our conversations and activities are mainly centered on their needs. We are so busy with taking care of them that sometimes just to have an hour or so interrupted time to talk to our spouse can be so hard to come by. Most couples like us have to admit that we are so exhausted by the end of the day that we failed to spend enough time working and improving on our relationships. One day, when without our children around, we wouldhave to look at each other directly, no longer buffered by them. There is this fear that the reality of not know each other deep enough begins to sink in us. The marital relationships can go downward spiral.

Sometimes unfulfilled expectations, old unresolved issues, and wounds started to resurface. Our behaviors can turn ugly or ungraceful towards our spouses. Sinful human nature in us begins to reassert. Deep cracks revealed, worst, couples can become so emotional detached towards one another that each chooses to go separate way. I heard a case where when the husband retired, the couples ended up having frequent quarrels, so the husband decided to live separately from his spouse in a neighbouring country.

The anti-dotes to all these appear to be- avoid bringing out old issues; learn to forgive and forget; respect and accept one another, and keep the communication channel open with one another. We need to make efforts and find ways to renew the marriage vows. There has been a worrying trend in our society where more are embracing the Western view on the dynamics of marriage. In this world where temptations abound, be alert of the devilish schemes out to destroy marriages.

C T Scan Report

“As for you, Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me.” (Psalm 40:11)

Yesterday afternoon, I saw my surgeon and got my C T scan and blood test reports. My blood results are OK with readings more or less the same as before (CA 125, CA19-9, and CEA). The scan shows that the left gastric node has not increased in size (reduced very marginally) and all the other lower abdominal areas are normal. However, it still warrants monitoring, so I will still need to go for another scan in six month’s time for review. Really appreciate all those who prayed for me,and thank God for His immense mercy and grace.

I had so far gone for CT scan four times. Despite that, I still have phobia each time I did the scan, especially when the nurse injected a kind of dye into my body. One can feel the distinct ‘warmth’ sensation travelling in the body. I remember one prominent oncologist ever shared in the weekly ‘Mind Your Body’ that his patient actually becomes blind from the procedure due to allergic reaction.

C T scan

‘You, Lord, give perfect peace even in turmoil to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.’ ( Isaiah 26:3)

Time flies and it is already six months since I last had my CT scan. It is time to go for another one which has been scheduled this Wednesday, and report will be out the next Wednesday.

It has been almost four years since I underwent for cancer treatments. After having gone through pains and sufferings, more knowledgeable about cancer than before, I feel that my mind is somehow more conditioned and seasoned to accept what may come along the way. Any bad news should have lesser impact than previously. The past medical experiences also equip me to deal with difficult choices and situations more calmly.

This scan will tell whether my cancer has relapsed.

'Friendship' through face book?

'Friendship is unnecesssary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.' ( C S Lewis)

The popularity of face book has resulted it been accorded with larger than life status. It used to be that we developed technology to serve us. Now it seems that we allow it to shape us instead. From the feedback I gathered from those ardent face book users, I think that they have grossly exaggerated ‘friendship-making’ through this platform. People like to boast how many ‘friends’ they have in their face book accounts. Yes, the number of friendships did accelerated but what about the quality? True friendship requires willingness to invest time and much emotional energy is needed. Caring deeply for someone can be very exhausted and overloaded. It can even be messy at times especially emotion is involved. Commitment and responsibility must be present in any true friendship.

I am afraid that many have become so ‘comforting’ sitting long hours in front of the screen making ‘friends’ so much so that they do not know how to make real friends, how to connect with people face to face. In fact, they rather stay with the ‘virtual community’ than to be in real proximity with real people. They become too trusting and lack of discernment as they lacked the real experience of making friends. Through face book, it is mostly about ‘Me’, posting the best pictures, attention-seeking, ‘friends’ become their audience. This development is very disturbing indeed.

Bye Nokia, Hello Samsung

I have been using Nokia mobile phone since the day I owned one as it proves to be very user-friendly and durable. Recently my Nokia E51 which I bought in September 2008 has not been working well due to its battery, so it is time for me to get a new one. Little did I realize how the mobile phone landscape has changed so dramatically. When I stepped into SingTel Hello Shop, I noticed hardly anyone made enquiries about Nokia phones. I decided to read reviews and specifications of the two phones I am interested in: Samsung Ace 2 and Nokia lumia 610 (both cost about the same). I finally understand why Samsung has overtakes Nokia.

Despite Nokia lumia 610 offers better deals in terms of standbytime, talktime, internal memory, Samsung Ace 2 scores for its trim, sleek,and i-phone look alike, easy downloading of Android(Google mobile system) programs and games. As at this point, Nokia has betted on the less popular mobile operating system,Window-based, which not only has far fewer downloadable Apps and games, it is also not compatible with some of the popular programs like Skype. Furthermore, it does not have micro SD lot to expand memory, and it is using a micro-SIM which is currently not common. The choice for me is obvious, though I still remain very much a Nokia fan.

Arthritis

 I have been experiencing symptoms of arthritis for the last two months, primarily the joints of right fingers and around left ankle region. The physiotherapist I had been referred to advise me to do some simple joint exercises to minimize the impacts. Heard that acupuncture and Chinese massages may ease the pains but my TCM physician advised me not to unless the pains are unbearable since I have not survived cancer for five years. The rationale behind is that such ‘activities’ may stimulate the growth and migration of cancer cells.

Arthritis symptoms can be joint pain, swelling, stiffness of joints especially in the mornings, feeling of warmth or redness around a joint, sensitive to cold weather. There are two common types of arthritis: Osteoarthritis, which can be described as ‘wear and tear’, and Rheumatoid Arthritis which is a disease process that can affect the whole body. The disease can begin at any age and even affects children.

There is the belief that nightshades vegetables and soya products can worsen arthritis conditions but this is based merely on personal experiences of certain people without scientific evidences. Examples of these vegetables are capsicum, eggplant, potato and tomato. Foods that may help include turmeric, ginger, virgin oil, and oily fish. My mother used to tell us not to take too much long beans, egg plants and lady fingers for they can cause ‘winds’ in the body and weaken joints. There is also the genetic factor in play. My close friend who is younger than me has severe knee pain problem that warrants knee operation.

A Reflection - Olympics

Each time when I watched the ways the Olympics athletes competing for medals, I just could not help but asked myself : is it worthwhile for these people to make great sacrifices just to attain that most glorious moment in their lives. That dream comes at a very huge price, considering the long hours of punitive training they underwent. They are also cut off from the social life. They pushed their physical bodies to the limits. What more, they traded their youth for that temporal honour.

I think the lyrics of the 1996 Olympics theme song,"Reach",  by Gloria Estefan aptly captured the aspirations of these athletes:

Some dreams live on in time...for-ever
Those dreams... you want with all your heart
So I'll do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line what I hoped for at last would be mine!

If I could reach,higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
I'm gonna be... stronger!
Know that I've tried my very best
Put my spirit to the test
If I could reach...

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So I'll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe, all the more that this dream will be mine!

Gender differences

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18 )

I find the research on gender differences on the whole does not really tell us what we do not know. Rather, they merely validate what we knew and experienced personally. Take for example the following observations:

1    The seat of a woman's soul is her emotions. A woman usually believes you know her when you know what she feels. But the seat of a man's soul is his intent or purpose. That's why when a woman bares her soul by disclosing her feelings to him, she gets frustrated because he doesn’t acknowledge and recognize that as significant. For him, baring the soul means sharing his hopes and dreams. Men do not accuse each other of not caring about feelings.

2      Men tend to take words more literally and to hear them in more sweeping terms. So their self-esteem can be wounded if women used words loosely.

3      In order to make the guy tune in to her intentions, she has to show (action) rather than tell.

4    Men tend to resist change. In fact, one of the most prized characteristics of a man's friendship with other men is total acceptance. When a woman begins to encourage a man to live up to his potential, he can misunderstand that as her overall dissatisfaction with him. He may initially improve according to her suggestions, but later he becomes slower to respond till one day when she inadvertently steps on his self-esteem, she loses her significant influence. He becomes emotional distant, stops connecting and doesn’t care what she thinks any more.

5    It is important to emphasize a man’s positive qualities for that is in fact acknowledging the complete picture of who he is.

Such research can still be helpful in the sense that with the understanding of the differences in the psychological make-up of man and woman, we can use this knowledge wisely so as to minimize and manage conflicts in any relationships.

'Lateral Thinking'

 A friend sent me the following fun and interesting quiz. Care to do some 'lateral thinking'?

(Q1)      man 
         ---------
           board

(Q2)      stand 
         ----------
               i 

(Q3)     /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

(Q4)    cycle cycle cycle

(Q5)        0
         -------------
         M.D. Ph.D.

 (Q6)            ground 
            -------------------------------
           feet feet feet feet feet feet

 (Q7)    ecnalg

 (Q8)    death ..... life 

 (Q9)    ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb......


 Answers: (Q1) man overboard (Q2) I understand (Q3) reading between the lines (Q4) tricycle
                (Q5) two degrees below zero (Q6) six feet underground (Q7) backward glance
                ( Q8) life after death (Q9) long time no 'C'

Hormones in chicken

'Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the public squares, and uprightness cannot enter. Truth is lacking, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.' (Isaiah 59:14-15)

Recently I have been seen by another TCM physician, who unlike the previous one, strongly advices her cancer patients not to eat chicken meat, at least cut down to the minimum. Her argument is that with the rampant injection of hormones to make the chickens grow faster, frequent consumption of chicken meat may have adverse effect on the human health in the long run. Indeed, there have been some studies done to address the concerns on the health effects of hormones used by the meat and dairy industries. However, evidences available so far are not conclusive.

Hormones can come in the form of steroids or proteins. Steroid hormones are active in one’s body when consumed, such as hormone pills. In contrast, protein hormones are broken down in the stomach, and lose their ability to act in the body when eaten. Therefore, protein hormones need to be injected into the body to have an effect, such as insulin is a protein hormone for the diabetic patients.

Hormones are used in food production because certain hormones can make young animals gain weight faster. The growth hormone typically acts by triggering the cells to make other chemicals, called growth factors. These growth factors cause the increase in growth rate and milk production. They help reduce the waiting time and the amount of feed eaten by an animal before slaughter in meat industries. In dairy cows, hormones can also be used to increase milk production.

While different hormones are produced by our bodies and are essential for normal development of healthy tissues, synthetic steroid hormones that are used as pharmaceutical drugs, have been found to affect cancer risk. For example, lifetime exposure to natural steroid hormone estrogen is also associated with an increased risk for breast.

The female sex hormone estrogen was first found to affect growth rates in cattle and poultry in the 1930s. Synthetic estrogens started being used to increase the size of cattle and chickens in the early 1950s. Steroid hormones are administered under the animal’s skin of the ear. The ears of the animals are thrown away at slaughter. However, improper use of such implants in other parts of the animal can result in higher levels of hormone residues to remain in the animal meat.

Since it is not possible to differentiate between the hormones produced naturally by the animal and those used to treat the animal, it is difficult to determine exactly how much of the hormone used for treatment remains in the meat or the milk. Steroid hormones in food were suspected to cause early puberty in girls in some reports. Early puberty in girls has been found to be associated with a higher risk for breast cancer.

The scientists have found that the amount of protein hormone, recombinant bovine growth hormone (rbGH) found in milk from rbGH-treated cattle have higher levels of the naturally produced protein called insulin-dependent growth factor-1 (IGF-1). IGF-1 is a protein, and is digested into smaller pieces in the stomach. Whether IGF-I remains intact through human digestion and whether it is biologically active in humans remained unclear. There is the concern that it may somehow cause the human body to make more of its own IGF. Higher levels of IGF-1 in blood have been found in people with cancers, notably prostate and breast cancers.

While there are chemical tests that can distinguish between organic milk and non-organic milk, there are no chemical tests that can distinguish between milk produced using synthetic rBST and "hormone free" milk because cows produce their own hormones also. The only way to ascertain this is to know the source of animal meat or milk production. Giant food retailer Wal-Mart Stores Inc. had announced in 2008 that its store brand milk in the United States would now come exclusively from cows not been treated with artificial growth hormones.

Since it is not possible for us to avoid hormone-laced food products entirely, may be one can adopt the habit of eating a variety of animal meat, no matter how one may like certain type, while at the same time cut down the number of servings of meat and dairy.

'Cultural Mandate'?

'I (Apostle Paul) am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called by by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel - which is really no gospel at all. Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.' (Galatians 1:6-7,10)

Are Christians given ‘cultural mandate ‘by God to reach out to the non-believers by striving to stay ‘relevant’ to the society? Going to church should be fun with great music and songs, like going to a concert, right? Is it true that God wants His children to manifest success in life, happiness, wealth, creativity etc so that the world will envy and seek after Him? 

I think even a non-believer knows the correct answers to these questions but sadly not some Christians. As a result, secular models of entertainment-based worship are promoted. The sermons become less threatening & offensive (‘sugar-coated’), absence of hell & fire; more on motivational, uplifting, whip up emotions. To them, to stay ‘relevant’ means the church has to be ‘user-friendly’ and embraces prevailing social and cultural setting, inadvertently some of the values as well. Financial blessings are the will of God and more donations to the church will result in increase one’s material prosperity. The church leaders are given celebrity status, incapable of any wrongdoings. The church-goers idolized them, hoping one day they too become like their leaders, successful in life, lived in luxury houses and receiving good pay checks.

In reality, the values of the Kingdom of God and the World never converge. To convert a person is a supernatural work and not a result of pure human effort. Using pop music to outreach non-Christians has never shown to work. People become Christians when they come into contact with God’s Word. In the name of ‘creativity’, some of these pop songs and videos went too far that even non-Christians find them offensive. To me, staying relevant means having sermons that touch on our real life issues that we faced daily. Genuine creativity is like people like David Garibaldi whose 'Jesus Painting' is just awesome.( http://vimeo.com/23864881 )                                                  

Christianity’s call for repentance and submission to God’s reign in one’s life goes against human’s self-centeredness. The desire to resist God’s rule and reign is deeply ingrained within each one of us. So how can Man be genuinely attracted to such faith? May be by watering-down some of the biblical teachings, make the seekers more at ‘ease’. Christ warns the cost of following Him. He says, wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it (Matthew 7:13-14). His prayer is not that God takes the believers out of the world but that He will protect them from the evil one(John 17:15). If the believers belonged to the world, the world would love them as its own. As it is, they do not belong to the world, that is why the world hates them. (John 15:19). Christians are reminded not to love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for God is not in them. (I John 2:15)

A mega church functions just like a spiritual shopping mail than a Bible-believing congregation. It is as though one steps into a ‘McChurch’, where you can choose what you like and leave the rest. The ego-centered experience of attending such church is very appealing indeed, that explains the popularity of such church.

Counselling & Faith

“Philosophers can debate the meaning of life, but you need a Lord who can declare the meaning of life.” ― Max Lucado (author)

In any counseling program, besides exploring the unique situation faced by a particular person, it normally first addresses five areas of human functioning- spiritual, rational, volitional, emotional and physical. It is found that many human problems occur because of a relational disconnection or breakdown. The second element in counseling is to explore the background history of the person and their problem,deeper understanding of the real issues. 

As I looked around those whom I know who have gone for counseling, I noticed  that the most common cause seems to do with that person’s view on his identity and self-worthiness. Someone who has a strong sense of security and worthiness is unlikely to stay long in such state of mental condition. He is in a better position to overcome his temporary setbacks and the counseling program is likely to benefit him. As I see it, a person’s faith has an important role to play as faith gives answers to questions like who we are, why we are here, and where we are going after this journey on earth.  Whatever our life experiences, talents, physical ability, or role may be, one cannot go on this life journey without security and purpose in life. Without that, the different parts of our lives are like loose ends, unable to withstand the onslaught of hard knocks in life, and life can fall apart easily.

A life without margins

‘And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not.’ (Isaiah 58:11)

Communication technology has such a profound effect on our lives. All of us in this part of the world would rather own a smart phone than anything else. Some probably can’t imagine lives without these communication gadgets. May be losing one’s wallet is not so ’inconvenience’ as compared to losing one’s ‘contacts’ stored in these electronic devices. Apple Inc is doing so well exactly because Steve Jobs knew far ahead of his competitors what the consumers wanted. 

Easy accessibility of being connected round the clock leaving us opens to intrusions. I find myself have this compulsion to check my messages as soon as I wake up or when I go to bed. If I am also ‘addicted’ to facebook like others, I think I will be driven to exhaustion. A life without margins is a life rapidly approaching chaos. It is very common nowadays that even in a family get-together meal, each family member is so absorbed in ‘communicating’ with their hand phones instead of with each other. It has becoming increasingly difficult to put down one’s hand phone and devote wholeheartedly to something without being distracted. The quality of time has been compromised as a result of too much convenience. Frankly speaking, other than to be connected in case of emergency, do we really need to attend to these calls, messages or email on an urgent basis? How we used these gadgets determined whether they brought good or distraction to our lives. We do need disciplines if we are serious about creating space for our spiritual needs, rest, leisure, and relationships. How we spent the first moments of day can set the tone of the whole day, that is, how one begins a day. We may have to resort to unplug these devices at an appropriate moment to find solitude and silence which we badly need in order to slow down our body, mind and soul to reclaim space. 

God creates us for community. This need is built into our DNA. I need to remind myself nothing beat the beauty of physical presence of another person, the depth of communication and eye contacts which are something that can never be taken over by the communication gadgets. I realised that I don’t need to check emails throughout the day. There will always be news and updates. So many times browsing the internet for something useful often lures me into more web sites than I originally intended to, so I really need to learn to draw a boundary.

Blood Test

‘My help will come from the LORD, the Creator of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your Protector will not fall asleep.’ (Psalm 121: 2-3)

I went for my medical appointment on Tuesday. My cancer marker test result is still stable, CA125 is 11.1 (same as March) and CA19-9 is 8.9 (vs 10.7). Though these markers are not absolutely reliable, I am still eating well and able to do my chores as usual (though I still lacked ‘qi’). Without maid's help keeps me pretty busy which in a sense is good as I am able to take my mind off my health condition most of the time.

My CT scan is scheduled early September. By the way, I have to fork out $10 more for the consultation fee and $6 more for blood test this time round. However, I think the hike in the medical cost is still acceptable as compared to what I would have to pay if I go for private medical care.

Estrogen

'The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding He established the heavens. By His knowledge the deeps were broken up, and the skies drip with dew’ (Proverbs 3:19-20)

Women undergoing menopause generally experience declining levels of estrogen, and this can make their menopausal symptoms worsen. Doctors might advise them to eat foods that have phytoestrogens to ease the unwanted menopausal symptoms including hot flashes and sleeplessness. Foods high in phytoestrogens can also help protect hormonal diseases like breast, prostate, colon, and endometrial cancers as well as conditions like osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease.

Phytoestrogens are chemical compounds found in plants. Foods that have phytoestrogens include soy foods, apples, beets, carrots, cherries, citrus fruits, dairy foods, eggs, flax seeds, tomatoes. However, overconsumption of isoflavones found in soy foods might increase the risk of breast cancer in some people. 

It is importance to know the side effects of having too much estrogen, what raises estrogen hormones, and how to naturally lower estrogen levels. Like good and bad cholesterol, estrogen also has good and bad types. Certain cancer such as breast cancer is believed to be higher in women who have higher levels of the less favorable type of estrogen. 

In order to optimize one’s diet for lower estrogen levels, one should eat plenty of fruits, cruciferous vegetables, whole grains and increase the intake of fish oils. Foods that are high in fiber help bind with and remove excess hormones from the body while diets high in fat promote the reabsorption of estrogen into the body. As for me, my digestive system just cannot handle broccoli, cauliflower, nuts and grains etc. I will get diarrhea after consuming them. So I make vegetable juice to drink instead. 

Interestingly, there are something called estrogen disruptors or xenoestrogens, where different elements in the environment can act like "false estrogens" and been absorbed by the body. The result is that a woman may be prompted from her exposure to these xenoestrogens to have a second cycle even though she already had one less than four weeks ago. 

Visit to Polyclinic

I have been running down since my maid left in early February (losing about 2 kg), and I also get hungry very often (about 3 hourly). A week ago I decided to go to government polyclinic to do my blood tests as I concluded that they ought be cheaper than elsewhere. Moreover, it was not urgent. 


I had not stepped into polyclinic for years, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was not as crowded as before. The waiting time was about 30 to 45 minutes, much shorter than my expectation. Initiatives like re-channeling of geriatric care to private practitioners and abolition of subsidies for work permit holders seem to work well. The doctor ordered 4 types of blood test. My consultation costs me $10.30 while the blood tests altogether cost $13.50. The non-subsidized rates would have been $37 and $75 respectively (as shown in the receipts) which I think represent quite accurately what I would have to fork out if I see any GP. 


As for the outcome of my blood tests, the doctor confirmed that I am not diabetic.

Tropical fruits and cancer prevention

It is a kind of ironical that the prices of tropical fruits are going up faster than the temperate fruits. Not only that, certain tropical fruits are hard to find or has become ‘extinct’. Soursop is one of them.

Most of the tropical fruits in general are far superior in nutrients than the temperate fruits.One of them is soursop. There is evidence indicating that the fruit's extracts can selectively inhibit the growth of human breast cancer in a mouse model, though this has not been studied in humans. Research also suggested a connection between consumption of soursop and Parkinson's disease due to its very high concentration of annonacin.

Guava is another one, very rich in dietary fibre, vitamins, folic acid. A single common guava fruit contains about four times the amount of vitamin C as an orange. Watermelon has lycopene which is considered a potential agent for prevention of some types of cancers,especially prostate cancer. (Source: Wikipaedia)

Second-class citizens?

‘ let justice run down like waters and righteousness as a mighty and ever-flowing stream.’ (Amos 5:24) 

Recently I read two articles which commented on the state of affairs in this country. One was published in the Washington Post, the other first appeared in The Star, Malaysia. Both observed that there is the widening in income inequality, making worse by the massive influx of low-wage foreign workers, especially during the last ten years (population increased from 4 to 5 mil). It has reached a critical point that one respected senior statesman labels it as “socially unconscionable”. In fact, we have of the widest income gap amongst the developed countries. Then, there is those frequent train breakdowns, flooding, not to mention the soaring housing prices and cost of living. 

The middle income group formed 70% of the population, and we have the most educated middle-class in the world. The influx of mid-level foreign workers has apparently competed some of the jobs in areas unheard of a decade ago. They edged out the locals based on pay packages, not on qualifications. The group that fares the worst are the middle-aged and the retirees who find themselves very difficult to re-enter the workforce. This middle-income group is fearful of deterioration in their living standards, the threat of unemployment, or their salary dropping. All these can happen against the back drop of the country experiencing high growth and rise in wages. 


The problem is that the wealth effect concentrates in the hands of rich people. The friction between foreigners and locals is real, and escalating. This is shown by the recent outcry over the fatal car accident involving a rich PRC young investor who drove his limited edition Ferrari recklessly (his wife said it was a driving error), causing the death of two others besides himself. It has stirred strong anti-foreigner sentiment so much so that the Chinese embassy here has to remind its people to obey local laws and regulations, act responsibly. 

The danger of not dealing with these issues satisfactory is that it can erode the trust of the public towards the policy makers. I am of the opinion that some of these policies do seem to produce only short-term economic gains but not sustainable or endurable benefits for its people. Economic growth policy without addressing income inequality is disastrous in the long run. It is no good that people feel being treated as second-class citizens. How can a strong sense of nationhood developed with this kind of perception amongst its people?

Greed is the name of the game

‘ we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.’ (1 Timothy 6:7-9)

The recent disclosure of huge trading loss by a giant US bank shows how prevalent it is amongst the financial institutions to resort to “all about risk-taking” to generate profits. New and complex trading instruments are ‘created’ for trading purposes, and their trading positions can be so huge (to make that razor-thin profit margin) that they can cause turmoil in the financial markets.

The ex-head of equity derivatives business of another US giant bank, revealed publicly why he decided to quit his job. The interest of the client is often sidelined as the firm thinks more about making money. The culture which centred on teamwork, integrity, humility has vanished. The view of doing what is right for the clients even it may mean less money for the firm is no more popular. As long as you make big money for the firm is all it matters, and that guarantees your promotion to an influential position and fat pay checks.

Here is how a financial firm do it and do it fast by rippling the clients: Persuade the client to invest in the stocks or other products that the firm is trying to get rid of. This would help the firm to get rid of risks that no one want by selling those risks to someone else who does not know enough to know they should not want them. Another practice is get your client to trade whatever it will bring the biggest profit to the firm regardless of whether the clients are sophisticated or not to understand these products. The emphasis is on ‘short-cuts’, not 'long- term' business relationships. The mammoth monetary rewards encourage such practices.

Complex financial products are gaining popularity in Asia. Examples of some of these are Reverse Convertibles, Super Track Notes, Accumulator and Principal Protection Notes. Whatever names they may give to these products, they are essentially structured products and carry high risks. Take for example, the Accumulator, which is a contract that obliges investors to purchase a security, currency or commodity at regular intervals at a fixed price. This obligation lasts throughout the term of the contract, normally one year. Perhaps the most attractive feature of this product is that the fixed price is set at a significant discount to the prevailing market price. The trick or 'poison pill' is that if the security price drops, investors remain contractually obliged to purchase the underlying security, even the prevailing market price is lower. The contract typically has a clause which terminates the contract if the stock reaches a certain level, which is usually set slightly higher than the initial price. So the gain is capped in that sense. However, the investors could be required to double down on purchases if shares dropped, hence, the losses piled up with each purchase.

Investors apparently have not learn a thing or two from the financial crisis in the past. In fact, seeking to accumulate wealth by buying structured products is an unwise move. No companies issue securities to help investors. They do it for a single purpose-to raise capital at the cheapest cost possible. So if a security carries a high yield or potential future return, inevitably it entails a high level of risk, even if one can't identify the risk. If you cannot fully understand the products, then walk away from them, don’t invest. By the way, the complexity of the product is intentional so that if you understand the product, it is likely that you won’t buy it. 

Participate in the life of next generation

‘Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.’ (Psalms 127:3-5)

Parents today find it a challenge to participate personally in the life of next generation. Our children spent more of their waking hours in schools than at homes. Table talk undoubtedly is good for our body, mind and soul, but it has becoming increasing difficult to come by. Effort to have all family members having dinner together seems a daunting task, let alone breakfast with each other.

Today’s social and physical environment promotes separate bedrooms for parents and children. TV and computers can separate us in a non-physical way. When I was young, we were not allowed to shut our bedroom’s door other than changing clothes! I vividly remember the fun time we had, chatting with one another right through the night. Now though I am a home maker, I still find hard to ‘break-in’ the world of in my children. Sometimes I ask myself are the kids clanged on to us because they still need our financial support. May be in their hearts they think like most of their peers: “my parents give me too many boundaries”, “my parents always claim that they tell me No for my own good but I don’t believe it.”, or “my parents are so out of touch with my world”.

While, it is still better to make efforts to bridge the gap between us as parents and our children than do nothing about it. For my family, we try to have at least weekend dinner together at home, or once a month eating out (try not to have it at a food court as it is noisy and people are waiting for your seats!). A family dinner offers opportunity to fosters bonds and impart right values. However, it is important to observe some rules during meal time: no using of phone, no fast food, not to lecture or discipline.