'Friendship' through face book?

'Friendship is unnecesssary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.' ( C S Lewis)

The popularity of face book has resulted it been accorded with larger than life status. It used to be that we developed technology to serve us. Now it seems that we allow it to shape us instead. From the feedback I gathered from those ardent face book users, I think that they have grossly exaggerated ‘friendship-making’ through this platform. People like to boast how many ‘friends’ they have in their face book accounts. Yes, the number of friendships did accelerated but what about the quality? True friendship requires willingness to invest time and much emotional energy is needed. Caring deeply for someone can be very exhausted and overloaded. It can even be messy at times especially emotion is involved. Commitment and responsibility must be present in any true friendship.

I am afraid that many have become so ‘comforting’ sitting long hours in front of the screen making ‘friends’ so much so that they do not know how to make real friends, how to connect with people face to face. In fact, they rather stay with the ‘virtual community’ than to be in real proximity with real people. They become too trusting and lack of discernment as they lacked the real experience of making friends. Through face book, it is mostly about ‘Me’, posting the best pictures, attention-seeking, ‘friends’ become their audience. This development is very disturbing indeed.

Bye Nokia, Hello Samsung

I have been using Nokia mobile phone since the day I owned one as it proves to be very user-friendly and durable. Recently my Nokia E51 which I bought in September 2008 has not been working well due to its battery, so it is time for me to get a new one. Little did I realize how the mobile phone landscape has changed so dramatically. When I stepped into SingTel Hello Shop, I noticed hardly anyone made enquiries about Nokia phones. I decided to read reviews and specifications of the two phones I am interested in: Samsung Ace 2 and Nokia lumia 610 (both cost about the same). I finally understand why Samsung has overtakes Nokia.

Despite Nokia lumia 610 offers better deals in terms of standbytime, talktime, internal memory, Samsung Ace 2 scores for its trim, sleek,and i-phone look alike, easy downloading of Android(Google mobile system) programs and games. As at this point, Nokia has betted on the less popular mobile operating system,Window-based, which not only has far fewer downloadable Apps and games, it is also not compatible with some of the popular programs like Skype. Furthermore, it does not have micro SD lot to expand memory, and it is using a micro-SIM which is currently not common. The choice for me is obvious, though I still remain very much a Nokia fan.

Arthritis

 I have been experiencing symptoms of arthritis for the last two months, primarily the joints of right fingers and around left ankle region. The physiotherapist I had been referred to advise me to do some simple joint exercises to minimize the impacts. Heard that acupuncture and Chinese massages may ease the pains but my TCM physician advised me not to unless the pains are unbearable since I have not survived cancer for five years. The rationale behind is that such ‘activities’ may stimulate the growth and migration of cancer cells.

Arthritis symptoms can be joint pain, swelling, stiffness of joints especially in the mornings, feeling of warmth or redness around a joint, sensitive to cold weather. There are two common types of arthritis: Osteoarthritis, which can be described as ‘wear and tear’, and Rheumatoid Arthritis which is a disease process that can affect the whole body. The disease can begin at any age and even affects children.

There is the belief that nightshades vegetables and soya products can worsen arthritis conditions but this is based merely on personal experiences of certain people without scientific evidences. Examples of these vegetables are capsicum, eggplant, potato and tomato. Foods that may help include turmeric, ginger, virgin oil, and oily fish. My mother used to tell us not to take too much long beans, egg plants and lady fingers for they can cause ‘winds’ in the body and weaken joints. There is also the genetic factor in play. My close friend who is younger than me has severe knee pain problem that warrants knee operation.

A Reflection - Olympics

Each time when I watched the ways the Olympics athletes competing for medals, I just could not help but asked myself : is it worthwhile for these people to make great sacrifices just to attain that most glorious moment in their lives. That dream comes at a very huge price, considering the long hours of punitive training they underwent. They are also cut off from the social life. They pushed their physical bodies to the limits. What more, they traded their youth for that temporal honour.

I think the lyrics of the 1996 Olympics theme song,"Reach",  by Gloria Estefan aptly captured the aspirations of these athletes:

Some dreams live on in time...for-ever
Those dreams... you want with all your heart
So I'll do whatever it takes
Follow through with the promise I made
Put it all on the line what I hoped for at last would be mine!

If I could reach,higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life
I'm gonna be... stronger!
Know that I've tried my very best
Put my spirit to the test
If I could reach...

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So I'll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe, all the more that this dream will be mine!

Gender differences

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Genesis 2:18 )

I find the research on gender differences on the whole does not really tell us what we do not know. Rather, they merely validate what we knew and experienced personally. Take for example the following observations:

1    The seat of a woman's soul is her emotions. A woman usually believes you know her when you know what she feels. But the seat of a man's soul is his intent or purpose. That's why when a woman bares her soul by disclosing her feelings to him, she gets frustrated because he doesn’t acknowledge and recognize that as significant. For him, baring the soul means sharing his hopes and dreams. Men do not accuse each other of not caring about feelings.

2      Men tend to take words more literally and to hear them in more sweeping terms. So their self-esteem can be wounded if women used words loosely.

3      In order to make the guy tune in to her intentions, she has to show (action) rather than tell.

4    Men tend to resist change. In fact, one of the most prized characteristics of a man's friendship with other men is total acceptance. When a woman begins to encourage a man to live up to his potential, he can misunderstand that as her overall dissatisfaction with him. He may initially improve according to her suggestions, but later he becomes slower to respond till one day when she inadvertently steps on his self-esteem, she loses her significant influence. He becomes emotional distant, stops connecting and doesn’t care what she thinks any more.

5    It is important to emphasize a man’s positive qualities for that is in fact acknowledging the complete picture of who he is.

Such research can still be helpful in the sense that with the understanding of the differences in the psychological make-up of man and woman, we can use this knowledge wisely so as to minimize and manage conflicts in any relationships.