'Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.' (Proverbs 22:6)
In the past, we parents tend to be the ones who influenced our children the most. We often accept it as a matter of fact without much thought over it. However, things are very different today- parents probably have the least influence over those under their charge, been overtaken by the media and peer groups.
On this issue, Margaret Mead in her book, Culture and Commitment: A Study of the Generation Gap, made some interesting observations. She said that there are three kinds of societal patterns in the American history, which can also apply to our society.
Under the Post-figurative, the line of influence passes relatively without much hindrance from the grandfather to the father, and to the son. The grandfather expects the son to hold the same values as his own, though he does not verbalize them. They work together in the same place, likely on the family business, have limited contact with people outside the family, hence, the family influence is very effective and strong.
With the industrial revolution, children came under new influence from outside the family, especially the peers, which overwhelmed the parental influence. This social pattern Mead termed as Co-figurative.
We are now in a Pre-figurative society, where there are thousands of voices crying out to be heard, enormous chunk of messages and information to be received and processed. Media pressure added on to peer pressure. We have never lived in this kind of internet world before which is quietly shaping us emotionally, intellectually and spiritually without actual face-to-face relationships.
What can we do as parents in such society? Sometimes I find myself lose confidence and feel like been overwhelmed by the under currents. The world is changing so fast that perspectives and values are changing rapidly too. However, we do know what values are unchanging in a changing world which we can impart to our children. We must do more than just live in the same house with our children, merely taking care of their material needs. Our responsibilities go beyond ensuring our children getting the good grades;doing the right thing at the right time, and at the right place. Sharing and talking are important weapons to counter the undesirable influences permeating in the society, or else we can end up merely as spectators of life. In fact, some parents are living as though they are still living in a post-figurative society. My mother spent a great time sharing her life experiences with me. Now I begin to understand why she has such a huge influence over me in my life.
