Making sense to sufferings

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ( I Thessalonians 5:16-18)


Before Christmas last year I received a book gift from a close relative. It is written in Chinese by a Christian doctor sharing his experiences he had with his cancer patients. It also includes articles written by patients themselves and their caretakers. Although as a Christian, death itself is nothing to be fearful (rather than the pains) as my hope is in heavenly place, I just couldn’t help but depressed after finished reading the book. If the book has been given to me at the onset of my treatment 2 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have the courage to even open the book cover, let alone finished reading it.

The saddest account is from a devoted Christian lady who was in her late 30s, a non-smoker with 2 young children, contracted last stage of lung cancer after few months of coughing that didn’t go away. The book also gives detailed accounts of the harsh medical treatments, pains, and sufferings these cancer patients went through.

There is this universal notion that a good life ends in a good death but our observations from our daily lives seemed that the reverse is more true. We just cannot ignore, suppress or deny such feelings. As a Christian, I also have these spiritual perplexities to grip with as one cannot understand immediately the things that God does or allows. Many a times in fact God works things out in a manner exactly opposite to the way we think He should. To our non-Christian friends and relatives, our God seems to be unfair and unkind. But God’s mind is not like our minds and we cannot never fully understand His ways and purposes. He has the final say in any situation.When we truly accept these fundamental principles, this would save us from many spiritual struggles we have in life.

Those of you who followed my blog from the beginning would have read my account of the sufferings I went through from late October 2008 to early May 2009, with 20 weekly chemo treatments and 2 big operations. Before I read this book, I have this idea that the trial I went through is unique and very painful. Now that I read this book, I begin to see that this is not true as I felt as though I rubbed shoulders with these people mentioned therein who suffered even more extremely painful experiences - experiences more distressing than I have ever faced. Yet they still continue to sing God's praises despite suffered the ravages of cancer. Yes, others have also gone through what I have gone through and even more, so the knowledge of this helps me to understand and cope better with my own sufferings. It also makes me a stronger person.

A dangerous world-Analog parents with digital teens

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”(Proverbs 22:6)

I read from Time magazine that Face book has crossed 500 million account holders recently. It is purely out of curiosity that I decided to open a face book account about 3 months ago just to find out what is it so fantastic about this social network platform.

I randomly typed some names of my old classmates under ‘search’ and only a few names surfaced. That means to say that most of the people in my age group have not caught up with this buzz. Currently I have only 15 ‘face book’ friends whereas my youngest daughter in secondary school has 500 plus. So my generation is still struck in ‘analog’ world that some of us do not even know that the "smart" phones we have given to our children are actually mobile computers.

Children are spending too much time on computers than anything else. Parents suppose to take control on this matter but it is a tough task. Arming themselves with knowledge is the first step but summoning the courage to establish clear boundaries, rules, and consequences is the real test. It is hard for our children to put away their digital devices on their own choice. Book seems to lose out to the computer. They feel much more at home in the virtual world of digital life than in the real world. Unfortunately, sometimes they cannot even differentiate the virtual world and the real world that they become easily deceived.

Addiction,lack of the self-control to turn off the computer is no 1 enemy not just to the teenagers, but also we adults. There are so many exciting things and information that one can get from the internet without having even to leave home or making a phone call. Children often use school assignments as a mean to get hold on the computers, but end up surfing other things when they are away from the watchful eyes of their parents. My husband often has to stay late at night to take away our child’s computer at night and I am sure he is not the only parent who does that. Internet has really influenced, shaped and re-defined our daily lives. It is dangerous for parents to continue to stay in their 'analog' world.

My medical appointment

“For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal.” (Job 5:18)

This morning was my routine 3-monthly medical appointment. Thank God that my cancer marker readings are still stable (CA 125: 11.6 versus 12.9 /CA19-9: 11.5 versus 12.6). It is God's birthday gift to me as next week I will turn 54.

I will continue to see my medical oncologist every 3-month and stopped seeing my gynaecologist and surgeon for the time being unless necessary. I am very blessed to have this doctor to follow-up my medical condition as she is very meticulous, experience and caring at the same time. As for the TCM, my Chinese physician still wants to see me every month because of my condition.

Where is the magic feeling of CNY?

“You may say to yourself, my power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me. But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” (Deuteronomy 8:17-18)

CNY comes and goes. Unless we made efforts to observe the traditional practices (not the superstitious ones), it looks increasingly just like another 'ordinary' public holiday.

With the affluence society we are now in, the treats we used to enjoy are now almost all are available throughout the year. We buy CNY goodies instead of making them ourselves and some of us preferred to dine out for reunion dinners (most expensive one at S$8888 per table based on newspaper report) or even went off for an overseas break instead. No wonder we are less excited with CNY with each passing year!

I still remember in my childhood days it was only during CNY that I got new clothes to wear (made by my elder sisters). My sisters also made CNY stuff like cup cakes and love letters. We also had a chance to eat better food such as chicken, pork and prawns during this period. With the red packets we collected, we could treat ourselves with movies, amusement rides and played fireworks. Although we spent a great deal of time preparing our reunion dinner, we enjoyed it very much as we had the opportunity to savour the best dishes prepared by my mother.

For me, I am not in favour of having reunion dinner at the restaurant. Firstly, one does not get the value for money by paying so much for the dinner. The other thing is that it is difficult to mingle and interact with one another and you have to leave the place soon after finished eating. At home, we can chit chat, play games, singing etc late into the night. If cooking is too time-consuming, one can always get a caterer to deliver food to his doorstep.

'The Polish Divorce'

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.
Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland ...

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !!!!
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:
~~~Polish Remover~~~

(shared by Fiona, a close friend)

Warren Buffet's New Year Advice

“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”(Proverbs 14:23)

“It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”(Proverbs 19:2)

Everyone in the financial world is eager to hear what advice Warren Buffet has to offer in each New Year. This year he admitted that in America, most people begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism (Though Dow Jones Index is now at more than 2 years high). Most of the maxims he offered are not new but I think it will be good to refresh them. Some of them are as follows:

Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but merely talk leads only to poverty.

Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

Earnings: Never depend on a single source of Income.

Spending: If you buy things you don’t need, you’ll soon sell things you need.

Savings: Don’t save what is left after spending: spend what is left after saving.

Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender’s slave.

Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.

Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.

Investment: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

I like his advice on ‘savings’ especially. Most of us tend to spend what we have and save only what is left behind. This will inadvertently lead to numerous times when there is no saving at all. In order to achieve financial health, we need to practice these principles consistently. With each passing year, may we grow wiser and not to ruin our lives (and our loved ones) because of our bad financial decisions.

CNY & flu

This year’s January is the wettest month I have ever experienced, especially last Sunday where it virtually raining non-stop for 24 hours. The temperature was said to have dropped to 22C on that day. It is rare to experience such pleasant temperature here; indeed wet weather is good for me as I felt hot most of the time due to menopause. On the other hand, persistence raining also reminded me of the story of Noah Ark where it was stated in the bible that the earth was flooded for 150 days.

My eldest daughter, the strongest member in the family, succumbed to bad flu last two weeks. She rarely falls ill, so I know there must be many people out there having flu before the Ministry of Health finally declared that we have a flu epidemic. Most of the time I am home bound to minimise my chance of catching flu bud. If I get a bad flu, I will not be able to take the Chinese concoction everyday as usual till I recovered fully. Sometimes going to church can end up as an embarrassing experience for me when I have to move away from people having flu.

Anyway, days leading to CNY always associated with flu season. This phenomenon probably has to do with people start eating unhealthy stuff like bak kua, cuttlefish, prawn crackers, prickled fruits etc. Being more aware of health issues nowadays, these items are now ‘prohibited’ stuff for my family.