Homosexuality

“Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." (Romans 1:26-27)

“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable.”(Leviticus 18:22)

My younger daughter bought a thick book for her classmate as a birthday gift the other day. I have not heard of this book before, neither its author. She said her friend likes to read this kind of novel. My daughter then asked me to help her to remove the price tag from the back of the book cover. As I was doing it, the summary of the book’s content captured my attention. I was rather shocked by a Sec 2 student reads fiction novel of such theme!

It is about this woman who spent 10 years trying to get pregnant, and just when she was about to get her heart’s desire, tragedy destroyed her world. In the aftermath of loss and divorce, she throws herself into her career. She comes to work with another lady and their relationship moving from business, to friendship, and eventually blossomed to love. They decided to have baby of their own. Then she remembers that there are still frozen embryos that she and her husband have never used. But her husband having sought peace from his drinking problem, has found redemption in an evangelical church, and she has to get his permission to use it.

Such novel which centres on homosexuality theme though may be just a fiction story at this point of time, I am afraid that the ‘moral dilemma and controversy’ depicted in this book can come true one day. When a society allows and accepts such lifestyle as harmless and can be an alternative to traditional family and marriage, it will eventually disintegrate the family unit and harmony in the society. For Christians, the Bible is very clear on this issue though many condemn it as intolerant and narrow-minded.

I wonder how many of them are actually born 'genetically’ different which lead to such sexual behaviours. This factor (even if it is true) alone just cannot account for the rapid increase in the homosexual communities over the years. Homosexual partners now started to introduce babies into their ‘family units’ by adopting or IVF (with unknown 3rd party egg/sperm donor). Who will provide/decide the mother or father role? Will the child grow up normally or end up like those in dysfunctional homes with behavioural problems? I hope they spare a thought on the child’s welfare. In the recent Oscar-nomination, the movie, “The kids Are All Right” was nominated. It is about 2 lesbians raising two children. The kids seem to be normal. One of the kids goes out in search of her biological father and sperm donor. The man enters the “family” and sleeps with one of the lesbian parents. Are the kids really alright? Even Chinese movie industry recently also comes out with the lesbian theme movie called “All About Love”.

This trend of redefining the whole concept of family is going to cause the disintegration of families to accelerate. We need to be reminded that family is the building block of a nation and when it gives way, so is the nation.

The Perfect Husband (just for laugh)

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"



(shared by Fiona, a close friend)

Preventing cancer

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Some years ago near my workplace, I noticed there was always long queue at this particular stall which sold fried Bee Hoon (rice e Vermicelli) in the morning. I tried it myself and indeed it tasted very different from other stalls. Then I noticed sometimes inside the Bee Hoon which helped to explain its ‘unique’ taste- it was fried with Narcissus brand Stew Pork! Since then I had not patronise that stall again.

I guess just like everyone else, if not for my health conditions, I probably won’t be so disciplined in my eating habits and willing to go for so simple and plain diets. On the other hand, from what I read and learnt from those health talks, the greatest challenge in our attempt to stay healthy today is what goes into our stomach, the food. Here are some tips from the health experts:

• grilled /burnt food–nitrates from burnt food can cause oesophagus and stomach cancer

• processed food & red meat – associated with bowel, breast and stomach cancer

• food preservatives – look out for the food labels, most refrigerated fruit juices comes with preservatives. Preservatives contained chemicals and can weaken one’s immune system

• salted/preserved food – chemical changes in the food can cause cancer

• drink one big glass of water when wake up is good for our bowel, liver & kidney

• at least 3.5 hours per week of physical activities- cancer cells hate oxygen

• maintain healthy body weight of not more than 30kg/m2

• positive mental and emotional health

There are at least 20 types of cancer and they can occur in any part of our body. Recently I heard from someone that his friend has ribcage cancer. The causes of some of them are unknown. Factors like genetic predisposition are beyond our control. Well, God still has the final say in our life spans.

Cancer support group

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)

My close friend, Fiona, has been encouraging me to join a cancer support group lately so that I can get out of the house, meet people and make friends. Really appreciate her thought and suggestion. I know in the west there are many of such groups but not so in Singapore. Probably the most prominent one is that of breast cancer support group but none for ovarian cancer so far as it is not a common cancer among women.

For each cancer patient, no two persons will travel the same journey during and after cancer treatment. I do believe such support groups may have therapeutic impacts on some people, but I am not sure about myself. Will I be the type of person who can relieve burden by talking to like-minded people about fears, death, relapses? Will others who are of different faiths share the same views as me on this pilgrimage on earth? I am afraid that instead of achieving the goals of maintaining a positive outlook on life and being optimistic, I am troubled and disturbed by what I hear, see and read, being melancholic and introvert by nature.

Currently, I do get emotional support and care from close friends and relatives, which are as important as physical care. These seem to be sufficient for me for the time being, which makes my cancer journey easier.I am more comfortable to share my cancer experiences through my blog as it takes away the emotional part if I would to do it through face-to-face. Of course, my spiritual revival has also helped me to stay on course.

Japan earthquake

“Then there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder and a severe earthquake. No earthquake like it has ever occurred since man has been on earth, so tremendous was the quake.” (Revelation 16:18)

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

We read with sadness on the severe earthquake and tsunami that took place in Japan on 11th March 2011. The damage of the nuclear reactors compounded the already dire situations there. When asked to describe how they felt, a Japanese couple aptly put it: It is like the end of the world.

Life is full of uncertainty and we must learn to treasure those who are dear to us and not to take them for granted. In fact, in today’s Straits Times, it was reported that a security guard on his first day of work, was crushed to death by the one-ton metal gate that fell on him as he was closing it.

For one thing, the Japanese have shown tremendous resilience in the face of their worst crisis since WWII. It was reported that so far there is no looting and crime. They also have the nuclear plant workers (‘The Fukushima 50’), the unsung heroes who risk their lives trying to avert a nuclear disaster.

Can Singapore go nuclear in future? The government has earlier on said that it is looking into this option. If there is a nuclear meltdown, even a partial one, there is no way anyone can avoid the radiation leak on this small island. In Chernobyl disaster, the radioactive dust particles actually travelled as far as Europe. May be it is a reminder to us to take stock whether we have used the natural resources that God has endowed us with-wisely.

My eldest daughter had actually planned to go to Tokyo on a 10-day free & easy last year, and she could only travel either last November or mid- March this year. I encouraged her to go earlier than later because of the uncertainty of my health conditions. On hindsight she made the right decision. I believe there is divine intervention in it.

Parenting teenagers

“Father, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Last week I went for a talk on building bridges with teenagers organised by the Parents Support Group (PSG). There are some useful pointers from the speaker on effective parenting and communication. As I reflected back what is the condition of my 'bridge' with my children to-date, I realised my task-oriented style has worked against my relationships with them and I have made many profound mistakes.

Let me share with the following video clip:

We may find this video amusing and humorous, but as for me,I can identify myself with the ‘mum’ in this clip for doing the following:-


• A long list of ‘do’ for my children
• My conversation always begins with ‘have you....?’
• Insensitive to their emotions
• Don’t trust them
• Have hidden agenda when talking to them
• Discuss the issues at the wrong time
• Fail to encourage & praise
• Impatience to listen
• Preoccupied with other thoughts when they talked to me
• Fail to accept and value who they are
• Too protective and discourage mistakes
• Inconsistent rules/disciplines
• Fail to set aside time to have ‘dates’ with them
• Always assume things and think of the worst
• Not open to ideas & opinions
• Always talk about the past
• Short in motivating, empowering and encouraging them

.........and the list goes on and on. Sound familiar?

Caveat emptor (Let the buyer beware)!

“They conceive trouble and give birth to evil; their womb fashions deceit.” (Job 15:35)

It was reported recently in The Straits Times that since 2006 till now, there are 17 companies under suspension under the Stock Exchange of Singapore. I browsed through the names and noticed that 12 are China-linked companies. This does not reflect well the quality of companies that are attracted to raise funds here.

The China story was a very hot investment theme in 2005/2006 when many relatively unknown, small to mid- sized Chinese companies started to flock here through initial public offers. Prospectuses depicted fantastic profit growth rates and big plans. Many of them were brought here by the big brokerage firms which also underwritten these companies’ fund raising exercises. Such close relationships inadvertently led to very favourable reports from these broking houses. It was very common in those heydays that share prices of these companies opened at very high price (40-50% above issue price) on the first day of listing.

These Chinese companies started to raise even more funds through convertible bonds (normally of 3-5 year tenure) shortly after listed. I remember many of them were done in 2006, and the broking and investment houses made lucrative fees from such exercises. Share prices peaked around September 2007 and a year later came the financial crisis. When these bonds started to mature in 2009 and thereafter, these companies defaulted on the bonds, and the ‘true’ earnings started to surface.

I should say that many of my ex-clients lost more money in China shares than in other shares. In fact, one of my ex-client is so mesmerized with China growth story that he holds almost exclusively Chinese stocks in his portfolio despite advice. His refusal to act when things don’t turn out well caused him huge paper losses to-date.

If you ask me what is the most important thing to consider when investing in a company, I will say-corporate governance. In fact, there is a premium attached to a company that has good track record of corporate governance in that it commands higher valuation in the stock market. What is the point of a company making good profits when the top management is more concerned with their own pockets and even engaged in ‘milking’ activities? When the ‘ profits’ sound too good to be true, better take them with a pinch of salt. This is especially so for a foreign company where it is difficult to verify the information furnished. For novice investors, start with Singapore-based blue chips that are in the ST Index is a better choice.

Medical treatments - at what 'cost'?

“All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. (Isaiah 40:6-7)

I read with keen interest on the recent court case involving a very prominent cancer specialist. The whole matter centres on what is considered the ‘fair’ fees to be charged by the doctor including arranging other doctors to see her patient. The case is still on- going but it does tarnish the image of the medical industry here when it was revealed that astronomical mark-ups were made for third party bills.

This issue will definitely not arise if the patient has gone to see a public doctor. The lure for the public sector’s doctors to enter the private sector is very great indeed as the disparity in earnings is just too wide. Every year the public sector loses a sizeable number of highly qualified doctors, so I am very grateful to my doctors who are still doing the ‘national service’ for the country whilst on the other hand, I am also worrying how long can they resist the temptations of material gains such as able to bring their whole family on board first-class seats, going for exotic holidays several times a year and having a spa-like clinics etc.

I am glad that the government-linked hospitals have improved a lot in recent years that even if one goes there as a private patient, one still gets value for money in term of medical expertise and facilities, albeit still longer waiting time compared to the private hospitals. During my treatments from late October 2008 to May 2009, this is the computation of my medical fees as a private patient (excludes the small items):

3 CT-scans $2342
2 surgeries & hospitalisations - $24682
Pre & post-hospital consultation fees - $2390
Chemo treatments - $19,900 (20 times,inclusive Avastin $9900)
Total: $49300

Given the complexities of the surgeries and long duration of my chemo treatments, I must say that the medical fees I paid are very reasonable. I am sure if I had gone to see a private specialist, the bills would have easily double, especially for cancer treatments, there is no such thing as ‘standard’ fee guidelines. I definitely cannot compete with other wealthy patients for the doctors’ attentions on ‘dollars’ term. To be frank, cancer patients, in order to get well and relieve pain, tend to follow the doctors’ recommendations, even if it means just to extend lifespan for only weeks at a high price.

It is very common for the private hospitals to hide details in their bills. You have to request for detailed print- out which will revealed how even ‘micro’ items are charged. The private doctors also tend to engage ’extra’ specialists for the patients and billed them accordingly (subject to mark-up?). This was what happened to my mother-in-law when she went for gallstone operation and had only a short stay few years back. My ex-client, who had pancreatic cancer, initially received his medical treatments in a private hospital, almost lost his landed house when he mortgaged it to pay for his medical expenses. Fortunately later on he decided to get treatments from a government hospital instead.

We know that we have to seek medical treatments at a cost that it is reasonable, sensible, and not to be a burden to our families. But again, on moral ground, our family members are many a time torn between what is the best and right way to do it. A close friend recently lamented that she is not sure whether she is doing the right thing to her ailing, bedridden mother by taking very good care of her after she had stroke 10 years ago. Her heart aches when she sees her occassionally has teary eyes but cannot utter a single word to express her sufferings. I truly understand the conflicts inside her.