IBS medical report

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. (Proverbs 24:10)

 

I got my medical report on last Friday from my gastroenterologist. He found no abnormality in my liver, kidney, bacteria, parasites or any inflammation in my digestive system. At first I thought I might have celiac disease, which is a kind of digestive disorder that results in the damage of the small intestine lining when foods with gluten are consumed. I do experience bad bowels whenever I eat gluten food. The doctor clarified that gluten intolerance is not the same as having celiac disease, though both may share almost the same symptoms. The only way to tell the difference is through the relevant blood tests which turned out normal for me.

 

The final hurdle I have to go through is to have colonoscopy done. The last time I went through the procedure was in the year 2005. I decided to go for it now though the cost has gone up so much since then (about $500 without subsidy compared to the present $1100 with subsidy) .This will put an end to this whole digestive system consultation. If the investigation turns out nothing wrong is with me, then the only explanation of my IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome) is my food intolerance and the only solution is to live with it and to manage my diet. For that, I am thankful to God for creating a variety of food resources so that I am still able to find suitable food to eat.

Who has the most influence?

'Train up a child  in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.' (Proverbs 22:6)

 

In the past, we parents tend to be the ones who influenced our children the most. We often accept it as a matter of fact without much thought over it. However, things are very different today- parents probably have the least influence over those under their charge, been overtaken by the media and peer groups.

 

On this issue, Margaret Mead in her book, Culture and Commitment: A Study of the Generation Gap, made some interesting observations. She said that there are three kinds of societal patterns in the American history, which can also apply to our society.

 

Under the Post-figurative, the line of influence passes relatively without much hindrance from the grandfather to the father, and to the son. The grandfather expects the son to hold the same values as his own, though he does not verbalize them. They work together in the same place, likely on the family business, have limited contact with people outside the family, hence, the family influence is very effective and strong.

 

With the industrial revolution, children came under new influence from outside the family, especially the peers, which overwhelmed the parental influence. This social pattern Mead termed as Co-figurative.

 

We are now in a Pre-figurative society, where there are thousands of voices crying out to be heard, enormous chunk of messages and information to be received and processed. Media pressure added on to peer pressure. We have never lived in this kind of internet world before which is quietly shaping us emotionally, intellectually and spiritually without actual face-to-face relationships.

 

What can we do as parents in such society? Sometimes I find myself lose confidence and feel like been overwhelmed by the under currents. The world is changing so fast that perspectives and values are changing rapidly too. However, we do know what values are unchanging in a changing world which we can impart to our children. We must do more than just live in the same house with our children, merely taking care of their material needs. Our responsibilities go beyond ensuring our children getting the good grades;doing the right thing at the right time, and at the right place. Sharing and talking are important weapons to counter the undesirable influences permeating in the society, or else we can end up merely as spectators of life. In fact, some parents are living as though they are still living in a post-figurative society. My mother spent a great time sharing her life experiences with me. Now I begin to understand why she has such a huge influence over me in my life.

IBS consultation

‘Man is like a breath, his days are like a passing shadow.’ (Psalm 144:4)

 

A recent medical consultation for my irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) led me to pay closer attention to my IBS condition as well as a clearer understanding of what might have happened in my inner body. In this sense, I must be thankful to a good friend of mine for her perseverance in pestering me to go for treatment. On hindsight I should not bear with it and let it deteriorates over time. The specialist ordered full panel of liver, kidney and thyroid investigations on top of six blood tests and three stool samples. My condition must be complex and critical. The total cost came up to quite a sizeable amount despite most of the tests were half subsidised by the government. Two of which were expensive and not under subsidy. I can understand why high medical cost here is a concern especially if one has a chronic condition.

 

Thanks to Goggle that I was able to get more information about these various tests. The stool samples were taken to see whether bacteria such as E coli, Salmonella, and parasites such as Amoeba residing in the intestines. The faecal fat is to estimate the percentage of dietary fat the body has not absorbed. From there doctor can assess how well the liver, gall bladder, pancreas and intestines are working.

 

Anti Endomy Sial lgA is the most expensive test and does not qualified for subsidy. It is used to determine Coeliac disease, an autoimmune disorder of small intestine , which when it is exposed to dietary gluten, a protein found in wheat, rye and barley, the immune responses by mistakenly attacks and destroy healthy body tissue. This could lead to inflammation of the small intestine, making its inner wall less capable of absorbing nutrients. This blood test detects auto-antibodies in the blood system. Sedimentation Rate Erythrocyte (ESR) tests how much inflammation is in the body. Higher rate often associates with autoimmune disorder. C-Reactive Protein (CRP) is to test the protein produced by liver. Higher reading means that there is inflammation throughout the body, which may indicate inflammatory diseases and even cancers.

 

In conclusion, the source of my problem, according to the doctor’s diagnosis at this moment, can be due to: -

 

(1) Parasites and bacteria in the intestines;

(2) Inflammation in any part of the body;

(3) Gallbladder, pancreas, liver, kidney or thyroid not functioning well.

 

Come December I hope the tests will throw some lights into my conditions, failing which, I may have to go for more tests.

'Self-worth'

‘You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!’ (Psalm 139:13-16)

 

Almost two months ago I read with sadness that the famous actor and comedian, Robin Williams, apparently ended his life by committed suicide. It came as a surprise that the man who brought the world laughter, had been battling for severe depression for some time.

 

It is obvious that things are definitely getting better for most people with living standards going up and people are living much longer. We are in material utopia but unhappy lots. The great philosopher Aristotle ascribes high value to happiness when he defines it as a ‘highest good’. In his book, The Progress Paradox, Gregg Easterbrook concludes that the more progress a society is, the more its people are unhappy by looking at the number of depressed cases.

 

I think a person who struggled with his self-worth can never be a happy person. Too often people let other used yardsticks such as popularity, wealth, performance to judge his own significance. These are all ‘fluid’ parameters that are fleeting. How we value a person should be much more than that.

 

Easterbrook suggests some antidotes to unhappiness- to be optimistic, to show gratitude and acts of forgiveness. All these can make life more fulfilling, not only for oneself, but also for others. They give meaning and purpose to one’s existence. To the Christians, self-worthiness is never an issue as we are made by God and for God in his image with eternity destiny. Our worth is not really of the ‘self’ but the worth given to us by God as His children.

IBS

'The LORD sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.'(Psalm 41:3)

 

My irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) has been getting worse over the years. It has practically paralyzed my social activities and keeps me home-bound most of the time. I would rather avoid embarrassing moments or having to compromise on the food I eat. Now it has reached a state that it is easier for me to name the food I can consume than telling someone what I cannot eat. When I said food that I ‘cannot’ eat it actually means food my body system cannot digest. I would have bloated stomach and bad diarrhea afterwards. For this reason, my diet is so unbalanced and restricted that my health is affected in a significant way that warrants attention.

 

On the persistent persuasion of a close friend, I decided to get an appointment with a hospital specialist to see whether there are underlying health factors contributed to my conditions, and whether there are new medical breakthroughs for sufferers like me. I found out from google that deficiencies in certain enzymes can give rise to such symptoms. Lactase deficiency can cause diarrhea for dairy products. Patients may be given liquid enzyme to help to digest lactose. Deficiency in producing enzymes by pancreas, gallbladder, intestine lining can also cause mal-absorption of nutrients by the small intestine. The other reason for diarrhea can be bacteria overgrown in the digestive system, so the appropriate measure may be is to give antibiotic or probiotic. The bad ones can ferment the food digested, especially starch or sugar. There is even be an enzyme supplement for those who have problems in consuming beans.

 

I realized there are as much as 20% of the population having this syndrome but most people would dismiss it as food poisoning unless they themselves could discern their diarrhea pattern with certain food sensitivities. Normally as we aged, our digestive system also weakened over time. I hope my problems are not something other than irritable bowel syndrome. Come mid-October I will have the answers to that.

Uproar over 'penguins'

‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.’( 1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

 

Recently almost everyone is talking about ‘penguins’. It all started with the national library decided to pulp some children’s books which contained homosexual themes, but later decided to put them under the adult section. Some people think that the authority’s decision is based on religion ground which is inappropriate for a secular society like us. However, even in a secular society, they forget that there are shared common values which have their roots in religions. Some parents even said that they are the one who should decide what kind of books their children can read, not the library. That argument stands only if it is within their private home, not when it is in the library which is a public institution which must uphold the common norms and values.

 

There are appropriate ways of understand people with different experiences, circumstances, and respect the diversity, but it can be beyond a child’s understanding and discernment. ‘Who’s in my family’ is about two siblings and their parents off for a day at the zoo, and discovered that there are all kinds of human families along with a variety of animal families. ‘The White Swan Express’ centred on the adoption journey of four families, one of which has two moms. ‘And Tango Makes Three’ is based on a story of two male penguins in New York’s Central Park zoo which made a nest together. Later they managed to hatch an egg given by the zookeeper.

 

In the bible, there is no big or small sin. Homosexual is ranked the same as other forms of sin. Whether it is homosexual activity, pre-marital or extra-marital, heterosexual are all sinful ways to seek sexual expression and fulfilment. The goal should be to pursue holy sexuality, as someone puts it. If we are single, choose abstinence; if we are married, then be faithful (marriage between man and woman).

In Memoriam: My dajie (1942-2014)

'Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.' (Psalm 144:4)

My dajie (means eldest sister in Chinese), whom I loved most among my siblings, passed away recently.

 

Dajie suffered all through her life. She was born during the World War II. Life was very tough, coupled with the arrival of many siblings, close to one another. Being the eldest in the family, she shouldered the most responsibility of helping up my mother;she also bore the blunt of my mother’s bad temper. By the age of seven while her peers were looking forward to their first day in school, my dajie already helped my mother to tap the rubber trees and farming.

 

Life after married was equally tough. She had to put up with a mother-in-law who was very steep in Chinese traditions. Besides her four children, she had to take care of the four siblings of her husband. She never given a birthday treat or a mother’s day celebration throughout her life.

 

Dajie has many talents and her memory is superb. Despite been deprived of any former education, she learnt everything on her own such as sewing, writing. I had sweet memories of my childhood days because of her. She would sew beautiful dresses for me, taught me Chinese when I was very young. There was also those Shaw Brothers’ Chinese movie treats when she received pocket monies from my mother.

 

The last six months of her life was terrible, having to endure the severe pain and the side effects of the strong painkillers. We wanted to put her in a nursing home as it had become increasingly difficult for her to manage on her own. She hesitated till the last two days of her life. Such is her perseverance, endurance and selflessness.

 

My bonding with this sister is so deep and strong that the only force that is powerful enough to cut short such bond is death. Time will heal my grief and the void of my heart, but I am glad that her suffering and sorrow are finally over. She is now in God’s warm, loving embrace. One day we shall meet again.

Drivers of self-life

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1John 2:16)

 

The ‘World’ as the Bible sees it, is driven by three things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. Among them, the pride of life, to me, is the worst evil as it motivates the other two lusts. It is also one that is most difficult to overcome. Everyone wants to build up oneself in his own eyes or in the eyes of others. It is in our DNA. To Christians, it means a failure to accept the reality of our utter dependence on God, instead see God in ourselves.

 

The pride of life has to do with cravings for attention, power, boasting of human achievements and desiring to gain worldly wisdom. Basically it is worship of self. The lust of eyes gives rise to endless desire for possessions, envy, addictions of all kinds such as sexual and fitness. The lust of flesh relates to sensual gratifications, gluttony. In any rise and fall of a nation, these three things are present as it reflects the fallen nature of human race. In the first stage, a nation grows strong, wealthy and powerful. It becomes arrogant of its achievements. When the top is reached, it does not satisfy. There is the usual fear of someone else will take over its prominence. Later, it enters the second stage of materialism, been preoccupied with things. There is this unquenchable appetite for more – homes, cars, clothes etc. The last stage centres on sensuality, been caught up with experiences of feelings, emotions. What really matter is how one feels about it. There is no absolute right or wrong. Everyone does what it is right in his own eyes.

 

Sound familiar? Where do we stand now in this country? It looks like we are already in the last stage. People are now advocating ‘marketplace diversity’ through recruitment and networking dinner for LGBT students. What does this phase mean today? It is more than gender identity and sexual orientation? That thought chilled me to the bone.

Punitive or Rehabilitory

‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’ (Philippians 4:8)

Any justice system, in my opinion, should perform these three roles, i.e. carrying out justice, preserve law and order, and protect the public. In passing sentence, should the goal be punitive or rehabilitory.The recent trend around the world seems to be for the latter. Those who are for punitive think that it produces deterrence effect on the offenders, hopefully they learnt what they did was wrong and not to repeat it. It also has the effect on the general population who are deterred by the threat of punishment if they are caught. On the other hand, people who preferred rehabilitory feel that prison is a breeding ground for crimes and its social environment is detrimental to reform the offenders.

The danger of swinging towards rehabilitation is that it opens up a can of worms. Take for example, can a voyeur or shoplifter use psychiatric disorder as a defence in the court, and get away with probation instead of custodial sentence? In psychology, it is called ‘PFC dysfunction’. When a person’s prefrontal cortex (which regulates impulse behaviour) is not working properly, he may not be able to control his impulses. He is often oblivion to future consequences and focus only on immediate gratification. However, I think no one can abdicate responsibility from one’s deeds. If we allowed garbage to enter our minds, our actions will bear the result of that input.

Freudism, a study of human behaviours, breeds and encourages personal irresponsibility. Putting blame on someone else is easy, just like this interesting poem I came across:

“I went to my psychiatrist to be psycho-analysed
To see why I killed my cat & blacked my husband’s eyes
When I was one, I saw my mummy hit my dad with a trunk
That follows naturally I’m always drunk
When I was two, I saw my father kissed my maid one day
That’s why I suffer now from kleptomania
At three, I have the feeling of resentment against my brother
So it follows naturally I poisoned all my lovers
But now I’m happy here as I’m taught that
Everything that I do wrong is someone’s fault”

Liberty and Responsibility

‘In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’ (Ephesians 4:26-27)

 

Recently a protest organiser threatened to deface poster of a senior office-bearer here. It was reported that on his Facebook posting, he wrote that a huge poster would be put up for protesters to vent their anger by ‘spitting, throw eggs, splash dog poo, draw graffiti and kick’. Such appalling thoughts, even though not eventually carried out in actions, warrants a concern by all. In fact, I noticed that there is an increasing number of netizens who have been warned and asked to retract their postings over the social media in the last few months.

 

Defacing can be carried out on different platforms such as posters, public possessions, religious buildings and currency notes. It is a deliberate attempt, not a sudden one under provocation. This is a wrong way of expressing anger or hate. There are other legitimate and lawful means people can choose to make their protests. Early this year a British father has been sentenced to six months in jail for spraying purple paint across a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II in Westminster Abbey. His defense was that he merely defaced the royal portrait with the word "help" to highlight the helplessness the divorced fathers faced, being denied access to their children. I was shocked by the comments made by the newspaper's readers.  Most of them do not see it is as a serious crime.

 

We have to treat every human being with respect and dignity, ascribed a sense of worth, being valued as who he is. This also include objects that carried symbolic significance. In fact, dignity and respect are the key principles of Human Rights Act. Everyone know them by human instincts, their inherent values, even in a most primitive society.

 

This society is slowly opening up for diverse, alternate views, and space for expressing them. We should treasure such trend and not to use this liberty irresponsibly. If we cannot do that, then we do not deserve such freedom and it may be taken away. The argument that total self-expression is the key to modern good living is absurd. It is a fact that our human nature is self-centred, inherently evil. We have to learn to be self-restraint in what we expressed, not more and more new legislations to censure us.

Mother's Day

‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honour your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."’(Ephesians 6:1-3)

This year’s most popular video clip for Mother’s Day is one from American Greetings Inc. The video is about a fake job been created and posted on internet and in newspapers. Real interviews were conducted online. The shortlisted applicants were told of the job’s requirements. It entailed high level of mobility (such as long hours of standing, bending, moving about). There would be no annual/sick leave, lunch break, medical benefits, pension, salary, bonus etc. The candidate must also have good interpersonal skills. After digesting these information, all these applicants came to the same conclusion, that is, it is utterly insane or inhuman that any person in this world would ever do such a job. However, they were told there is already one person doing such job - the mum!

 

Most of us take mother’s work for granted. It has been estimated that the average stay-at-home mum’s “salary” for 94-hour work week is estimated to worth US$113K a year. However, no country in the world so far take mum’s work into account when computing its GNP. Mother is the most undervalued person one can think of. It’s no wonder that more married women would rather work outside their homes, helped by the availability of child care facilities and family-friendly policies. With the passing of my mother’s generation, my generation of mothers belongs mostly to working- mother category. There are pros and cons to such trend.

 

On the positive side, we are able to contribute financially to the family, so our children have access to better healthcare, nutrition, education and opportunities. Studies have also shown that working mother’s children exhibit higher level of confidence and independence.

 

One of the drawbacks of being a working mother is that it is utterly tough (almost impossible) to balance work and family commitments. We are stressed out, fatigue, and too tired to interact with our children. They therefore received less discipline and less support from us. It can be a case of our kids being cared for by different people and received different types of discipline, which lead to confusion and behavioural problems later on. I feel that we are beginning to pay the price of being a working mum- our children are more rebellious and disobedient. Our bonding is also not as close as the previous generations. A meal out on Mother’s Day may not carry as much meaning as before as time goes by.

Post-medical Recovery Journey

"Do not let them (God's Words) depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and health to all their body" (Proverbs 4:21-22)

 

A close friend forwarded to me a video about how a Taiwanese brain surgeon overcame his colon cancer some years back. He went for the chemo treatment as usual but refused to have the operation to remove the tumour. The subsequent scan showed that the tumour was gone, and he has been well since then.

 

Although there is no such thing as one formula fits all, I think some of his ideas are very helpful in the recovery journey for any cancer patient:

 

(1) Overcome fear- This helps one to stay positive and be pro-active in pursuing recovery. This is the most difficult thing to conquer. It is tough not to have negative thoughts when we are in troubles. Most cancer patients faced this the first two years upon diagnosis.

(2)Cultivate peaceful mind -Get rid of temperament that impedes recovery such as unforgiving spirit, bad temper.

(3)Plenty of rest, learn to relax, enjoy food, live comfortably. Enough sleep is important.

(4) Build up strong immune system by eating well, have balanced diet. Don’t have to go for any special diet.

(5)Exercise- go for those that promote relaxation such as qigong. Avoid sudden strenuous exercise.

(6)Food- eat more veggie, less meat. Go for fresh food rather than everything organic. Avoid canned food, oily/fried/BBQ food and milk.

(7)Healthy bowel movement everyday- prevents toxins from forming in our body.

MH370 -the anomaly of anomaly?

‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?’ (Jeremiah 17:9)

 

The recent MH370 tragedy has captured the whole world attention. What actually happened to the flight is still a mystery with almost one month has gone by (since 8th of March), no wreckage has yet been found. People started to come up with all sorts of theories to explain away the possibility, and one expert in fact described the whole episode as an anomaly of anomaly. Is it? Can we ignore the human aspect of it?

 

I see this whole incident reflects the depravity of human nature. A visit to Cambodia Genocide Museum or the Holocaust Memorial Center will testify to that. Any person is capable of devising a diabolic scheme to achieve his goal whilst inflicts maximum pain upon his fellowmen. The person behind this tragedy is one such being, who deliberately shutdown all radar signals to evade the detection of its diverted flight path so as to fly far off course to somewhere unknown. Experts have come up with many suggestions to improve the technical aspects of the plane, tighten aviation procedures and airport security. However, at the end of the day, none of these measures can beat the power of human mind when it is used in the wrong way.

 

Can we fully comprehend what these passengers (including babies) went through during the whole journey? Are we able to adequately describe the anguish and turmoil faced by their families? The possibility of no closure or answers on their loved ones is a very painful thing to live with. My heart really goes to them.

'Buck-passer'

There was this little boy who offered to help his busy mother cleaning up the basement of the house. While he was down there sweeping the floor, a mouse came out from beneath the sofa. Unfortunately it ran the wrong way. The boy smashed it against the wall with the broom. The mouse ran again and this time he beat it hard about ten rounds. When he got through with it, the whole thing was awesome. It was bloody and horrible looking.

 

The boy was so proud of what he had done that he grabbed the mouse by the tail, ran up the stair and went to look for his mother. He rushed straight to the living room without realised that a pastor happened to visit his mother. The pastor was sitting right behind the door so the boy couldn’t see him. The boy shouted,” Mother…mother, when I was down the basement, this mouse crept out from the sofa. So I took the broom and hit it once but it didn’t die. So I hit it again and again until it stopped running…….”, then he saw the pastor and was horrified. He continued,“Then….and....then the Lord called it home."

CT scan and blood tests

‘The LORD sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.’ (Psalm 41:3)

 

I went for my medical appointment last Wednesday to collect the medical reports. It has been a year since I last done my scan. The left gastric node is still there (1.4mm x 10mm) but stable since it was first discovered in March 2012 scan. The CA 125 reading is 9. I have now passed the 5-year survival mark.

 

To recap, I went for my first operation (my CA 125 marker was about 2,100 then) to remove one tumour (10cm) in late October 2008, and commenced the chemo program in December. In February 2009 I had the other big tumour removed by another surgeon and was in ICU for several days. Thereafter my chemo treatment resumed and ended in early May 2009, after 7 rounds’ (21- weekly) of treatment. By then my marker has dropped down to about 13. Two months later I went for my TCM consultation and has been on the Chinese concoction till now.

 

The journey has been a tough one as I was very feeble in the first two years, experienced the severe side effects of the chemotherapy and removal of ovaries. My doctor gives a very poor prognosis of my condition and I can understand why. I felt utterly despair and was prepared to face the worst. My only hope is to look up - to God. Never once I become bitter with God as He gave me many warning signs but I failed to slow down to care for myself. It has been a life-transforming experience for me. It has impacted every aspect of my being. This is a miracle from God. I realised often I have been taking God’s mercy and grace for granted. Like Job, I can now say that “when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” (Job 23:10). I am now more ready to battle storms of life than before.

Internet hoax

Information has been expanding exponentially in this internet age. In the past it used to double every ten years. We were already found ourselves unable to catch up then. Now things have become worst. People tend not to process the information they received by carrying out fact finding, too eager to pass it over to their contacts. Of course, nowadays with the help of technology, it has become faster and easier to do such than by word-of-mouth. Hence, we ended up receiving lot of junk stuffs and many of them are ‘hoax’ in nature.

 

The most common types of Internet hoax are those related to internet viruses and health tips from the ‘experts’. Here are some that I received recently:

(1) Internet virus alert message (Update Window live) – It has been circulating over the years, resurfaced from time to time. It claims that it will burn your whole hard disk and render your computer irreparable. It says that this is the worst virus announced by CNN and has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive one, and discovered by McAfee. You can’t find any such announcement on any of these companies’ websites!

(2) All European new born babies will be micro chipped from May 2014 – The news says that his chip will also be an impressive GPS sensor that will task with a micro- disposable battery every 2 years. It will be linked straight to a satellite, which will guide the networks. Interestingly, this article attracted 180 comments from readers who believed this news is true!

(3) On Dec 31st and 1st Jan 2014, the popular Whatsapp will become chargeable. It will cost 1 cent (euro) per message. However if one sends this message to 10 people, it will show that he is an avid user and his logo will become blue, otherwise, whatsapp will activate the billing!

(4) A FB user received information from someone that FB has changed its privacy configuration that any person on FB anywhere in the world has accessed to someone else’s photos posted, the “likes” and “comments”, unless he asks all his contacts in FB to do these steps. First, place the cursor over his photo that appears in the box (without clicking) and a window will open. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then go to “Settings”. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments” and “Like” and “photos”. This way, his activities with his family and friends will no longer be made public. Fortunately he was told shortly by a friend that this is an old scam. None of his contacts wasted their time by following his weird and ludicrous ‘instructions’!

 

Health tips by ‘experts’ are the most proliferated ones as everyone wants to stay healthy. I learnt not to take anonymous health advice seriously as many are contradictory. You can end up confuse, and do more harm to your body by following these tips blindly. The ways they explained how our body works are utterly ridiculous, for examples:

 

(1) ‘Why do people need to urinate so much at night time? Answer from the Cardiac Doctor, Dr Stephen Mak (is there such a person?) - Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc.) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. Correct time to drink water is very important. Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs ;1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion; 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure; 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack.’

(2) ‘It's important to know how and when to eat fruit. It means not eating fruit after a meal! Fruit should be eaten on an empty stomach. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil. Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat! Grey hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes -all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach.’

(3) ‘Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! The cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It may even be your own life!’

Valentine's Day

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

 

“I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did?” (Mother Teresa)

 

 

Valentine’s Day is here again, a time associated with romance and red roses. Love is in the air. We can attempt to do many good things but if we do them without love, ultimately there is no value in what we do.

 

The dictionary defines love as a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection to a person, people or thing. Unfortunately it only gives one-sided meaning to it as it says only about the one who loves, but nothing at all on the beloved. I like how the Apostle Paul gives love a deeper meaning through the above epistle he wrote to the Corinthian Christians. He describes what love is about- its characteristics, one that are action-based and other-centred. So it excludes those that we expressed only in thoughts and words, and self-serving type.

 

We can substitute the words “Love” and “it” in the above passage with our names and read it aloud. I think we will fail in every characteristic of love mentioned in it. That shows how fall we all fall short of God’s standard. It also reveals why we have difficult relationships with our fellow beings, how each of us contributes towards making this world an unhappy place to live in, more stress, more unforgiving and less graciousness.

Natural Affection

'Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.' (Franklin D Roosevelt)

It is a fact of life that we are drawn or attracted to some people, and not the others. This is termed as ‘natural affection’. It is based on our feeling, something in that person. However, when our feeling changes towards that person, it can change our affection accordingly. So if the husband tells his wife that he still ‘loves’ her but has no more feeling over her, she will be utterly crushed. I don’t think any woman can accept that!

 

In this country, under the Law of divorce, the most cited reasons for divorce is that the couple’s marriage has irretrievably broken down due to adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion for at least 2 years; or they have lived apart for a continuous period for at least 3 years. A marriage relationship that is anchored around natural affection is very vulnerable to fail.

 

 A marriage mediator once shared this sad story. A couple who were married for nearly 20 years went for counselling. Their relationship turned cold in the last 6 years after a particular domestic incident. The husband’s feeling towards the wife changed, and was adamant on a divorce by citing the wife had ‘unreasonable behaviour’. She refused to divorce despite been offered generous maintenance and share of the matrimonial assets. However, she only had two options- either allowed the divorce to proceed without contesting by accepting the husband’s allegations of her unreasonable behaviour as ‘true’, or contest the divorce. A contested divorce is very costly in terms of time, money and also emotionally. She felt the whole thing was so unfair to her, but finally chose the second option in tears. She was forced to accept her husband’s terms even though she didn’t want a divorce.

Gratitude

‘Always give thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ (Ephesians 5:20)

As we said goodbye to 2013 and embrace this New Year, I think one thing we should not forget to do is to recount our blessings and be grateful to God, and the people who made our lives on this earth better. The world that we lived in is increasingly operated on a culture of ‘nothing to thank for’. The perspective is more of ‘what is my right/entitlement’. For example, natural resources are just things come into existence by chance. If we start to see the things we have as gifts, or as the demonstration of love by someone, then we will learn to appreciate and show gratitude. Such attitude strengthens human relationships, as when we expressed gratitude, we are actually attached values to what we received. We can even see our own lives on higher plane than everything is about cost-and-benefit.

 

In some countries, the attitude of gratitude is emphasized in their culture. For instance, when you are invited to a Danish home for dinner, you are expected to bring flowers, good quality chocolate or wine. One should contact the hostess beforehand whether she would like you to bring a dish. When you are there, offer to help the hostess with the preparation or cleaning up after a meal is served. Wait to be told where to sit. One should not begin to eat until the hostess says,’Vaersgo og spise’, which translates as ‘come on and eat’. At the end of the meal, everybody sat around the table would take turn to thank the hostess, ‘tak for mad, aka’, which means’ thank you for the food’, before leaving the table. The next time when you are in contact with that person by phone or when both met, the first thing to say is ‘thank you for the last time’. Let us join them to make the world at a better place to live in!