It is a fact of life that we are drawn or attracted to some people, and not the others. This is termed as ‘natural affection’. It is based on our feeling, something in that person. However, when our feeling changes towards that person, it can change our affection accordingly. So if the husband tells his wife that he still ‘loves’ her but has no more feeling over her, she will be utterly crushed. I don’t think any woman can accept that!
In this country, under the Law of divorce, the most cited reasons for divorce is that the couple’s marriage has irretrievably broken down due to adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion for at least 2 years; or they have lived apart for a continuous period for at least 3 years.
A marriage relationship that is anchored around natural affection is very vulnerable to fail.
A marriage mediator once shared this sad story. A couple who were married for nearly 20 years went for counselling. Their relationship turned cold in the last 6 years after a particular domestic incident. The husband’s feeling towards the wife changed, and was adamant on a divorce by citing the wife had ‘unreasonable behaviour’. She refused to divorce despite been offered generous maintenance and share of the matrimonial assets. However, she only had two options- either allowed the divorce to proceed without contesting by accepting the husband’s allegations of her unreasonable behaviour as ‘true’, or contest the divorce. A contested divorce is very costly in terms of time, money and also emotionally. She felt the whole thing was so unfair to her, but finally chose the second option in tears. She was forced to accept her husband’s terms even though she didn’t want a divorce.
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