Hope & will to live

‘Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.’ (Romans 12:12)

While waiting outside the consultation room for my surgeon to review my cancer marker and C T scan reports a couple of days ago, I saw a poster on the wall with this caption, ‘There is no medicine such as hope’. Indeed, the strongest instinct a person has is survival instinct. Hope gives us staying power even when we are in very challenging situations. When I read the remarkable cancer story of Lance Armstrong, the famous American cyclist who was recently banned by the United States Anti-Doping Agency (Usada) for life and stripped of his Tour de France titles for failing to answer doping charges, I couldn’t help but asked myself this pertinent question- would I give up hope if I was to be in the same kind of situation as him? 

Lance had ignored ominous symptoms for months, the soreness in his groin, bad headaches and difficulty in breathing, thought it is normal for a professional athlete to experience such aches and pains. One day while at home, he suffered a blinding headache and coughing up blood. By then, his testicle had swollen to three times its normal size. Later on same day in 1996 he was diagnosed with advanced 3rd-stage testicular cancer which had metastasized into his lymph nodes, abdomen, lungs and brain. The first team of doctors he consulted pulled his mom aside and told her she should prepare herself to lose her only child. He underwent two surgeries, one to remove his cancerous testicle and another to remove two cancerous lesions on his brain. Over a three-month period, he received four rounds of gruesome chemo. The doctors estimated that he had about a 40 percent chance of surviving. They later admitted his chances of surviving were actually much lower. His cancer went into complete remission miraculously, and by January 1998 he was back to serious training for bicycle racing. 

Below are some excerpts of what Armstrong said about his cancer experience: 

“I can now say that my life is better because of my cancer experience. I appreciate my life in a completely new and better way because I faced cancer and was lucky enough to survive.” 

“I also think that a person with cancer needs to seek out support from friends and family. I had a group of people there for me—to listen to me, cheer me on or remind me that I wasn't really alone. I was lucky to know that other people were invested in my survival; you can never overestimate the benefit of that kind of support and friendship.”

“Hope is the greatest weapon a person has. Ask the tough questions, get a second opinion, take care of yourself, and do whatever you have to do to keep hope alive.”

Empty nest syndrome

‘Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.’ (Proverbs 19:14)

‘Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.’ (Proverbs 20:6-7) 

With our children growing up and one of them is leaving us for awhile, we realized that very soon, our children will no longer need us as much as before, inadvertently this ‘empty nest’ syndrome will be experienced by us. The ‘true’ level of our marital relationship will reveal. It is then couples realized how deep or shallow are their relationships with each other.

When our children are with us, they have become our “mediator”. Our conversations and activities are mainly centered on their needs. We are so busy with taking care of them that sometimes just to have an hour or so interrupted time to talk to our spouse can be so hard to come by. Most couples like us have to admit that we are so exhausted by the end of the day that we failed to spend enough time working and improving on our relationships. One day, when without our children around, we wouldhave to look at each other directly, no longer buffered by them. There is this fear that the reality of not know each other deep enough begins to sink in us. The marital relationships can go downward spiral.

Sometimes unfulfilled expectations, old unresolved issues, and wounds started to resurface. Our behaviors can turn ugly or ungraceful towards our spouses. Sinful human nature in us begins to reassert. Deep cracks revealed, worst, couples can become so emotional detached towards one another that each chooses to go separate way. I heard a case where when the husband retired, the couples ended up having frequent quarrels, so the husband decided to live separately from his spouse in a neighbouring country.

The anti-dotes to all these appear to be- avoid bringing out old issues; learn to forgive and forget; respect and accept one another, and keep the communication channel open with one another. We need to make efforts and find ways to renew the marriage vows. There has been a worrying trend in our society where more are embracing the Western view on the dynamics of marriage. In this world where temptations abound, be alert of the devilish schemes out to destroy marriages.

C T Scan Report

“As for you, Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me.” (Psalm 40:11)

Yesterday afternoon, I saw my surgeon and got my C T scan and blood test reports. My blood results are OK with readings more or less the same as before (CA 125, CA19-9, and CEA). The scan shows that the left gastric node has not increased in size (reduced very marginally) and all the other lower abdominal areas are normal. However, it still warrants monitoring, so I will still need to go for another scan in six month’s time for review. Really appreciate all those who prayed for me,and thank God for His immense mercy and grace.

I had so far gone for CT scan four times. Despite that, I still have phobia each time I did the scan, especially when the nurse injected a kind of dye into my body. One can feel the distinct ‘warmth’ sensation travelling in the body. I remember one prominent oncologist ever shared in the weekly ‘Mind Your Body’ that his patient actually becomes blind from the procedure due to allergic reaction.

C T scan

‘You, Lord, give perfect peace even in turmoil to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.’ ( Isaiah 26:3)

Time flies and it is already six months since I last had my CT scan. It is time to go for another one which has been scheduled this Wednesday, and report will be out the next Wednesday.

It has been almost four years since I underwent for cancer treatments. After having gone through pains and sufferings, more knowledgeable about cancer than before, I feel that my mind is somehow more conditioned and seasoned to accept what may come along the way. Any bad news should have lesser impact than previously. The past medical experiences also equip me to deal with difficult choices and situations more calmly.

This scan will tell whether my cancer has relapsed.