Eating healthily

Eating well certainly is not the same as eating healthily. I find it difficult to ‘eat healthily’ even though I am not working now. The temptation is to give up the laborious and boring regime of ‘eating healthily’ in favor of ‘convenient’ food. In Singapore, it is just too convenient for people to eat out such that ‘eating out’ has become a lifestyle or hobby. If Singaporeans become increasingly unhealthy over the years, it probably have to do with the easy accessibility of eateries, making worst by the fact that more those newly established eateries served Western food rather than Chinese food. I still remember when I attended my mother’s funeral two years ago in Malaysia, I had a hard time looking for cooked food stalls even in a decent town.

To eat healthily, one really has to invest time, put in efforts and be disciplined. If I am a full-time worker, it would be an uphill task to adopt the diet regime I am now on. Typically I have to spend half-a-day preparing my daily meals- chop, slice, cut vegetables, meat, making juice, boil herbs, and many rounds of washing. To find outside food that is steamed, boiled or stirred-fry is difficult. More often than not, it is deep-fried, grilled or baked. Even for pastries, they are now usually topped up with cream, sugar, cheese, or chocolate. Plain food is hard to find now as ‘exotic’ food is more in demand.

'Gangnam style society?

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” (Luke 12:15)

The government has stepped in again to curtail the euphoria in the property market by restricting the tenure of mortgage loans. The fact that currently more than 45% of the new loans are at least 35 years or longer is indeed alarming. Maximum tenure is the game in property investment now. People are buying on the premises that interest rate and vacancy rate will stay forever low, and the monthly rental is sufficient to meet the repayment installments. The other presumption is that property price can only go one way-up (uninterruptedly)! When my friend recently told me that one of her clients, a medical doctor, actually owned eight properties, I realized where the huge demand for property comes from.

The ‘feel rich’ phenomenon is most pronounced in the last two years after the frenzy rise in the property prices. Many people are trying to borrow big and for longer period, hoping to make money to achieve their ‘dream lifestyle’ or ‘retirement fund’. The more disturbing thing is that older people are joining the 'party'. This ‘wealth illusion effect’ can make one being carried away and over-estimate his ability to service the loan. All these remind me of the ‘Gangnam style’ video by Korean singer, Psy. In most countries, it is the economy that the property market, but in this country, it seems the other way round. Are we creating a ‘Gangnam style’ society?

In Korea, Gangnam is the icon of the rapid economic development of South Korea in 1970s and 80s where landowners and speculators became wealthy practically overnight from the real estate investment frenzy. It has become the most wealthy and affluent area in the entire South Korea. Its name has come to be associated as a place where people are rich, girls are pretty and everything is supposed to be cool and fun, with upscale fashion and lavish lifestyle that set the trends for others to follow. However, it also inspires a mixture of desire, envy and bitterness, causing social rifts amongst the people. People living there spending big on foreign luxury goods to highlight their wealth while those who uphold the virtues of hard work and sacrifice finding themselves barely making ends meet.

Signs of  ‘Gangnam style’ culture is already here. There are more Lamborghini, Ferrari, McLaren found on the road (what can the owners do with these cars other than flaunt their wealth?); up-market restaurants are mushrooming, and not forgetting, more ultra luxury apartments designed by world renowned architects are built here.

'Poor English'

It has been said that it is easy to learn English but difficult to master it. Grammatical rules are at times confusing and difficult to remember. Just last Monday, The Straits Times carried a ‘Speak Good English’ quiz. Here are some interesting yet amusing examples of common grammatical errors:

1. No footwears allowed- ‘footwear’ is uncountable noun- If we add ‘s’, it means that something belongs to the footwear!

 2. We discussed about the holiday but I was not really paying attention- No preposition ‘about’ is required. The verb ‘discuss’ behaves like the verbs ‘consider’ but not like the verb ‘talk’.

3. Once you get this letter, revert back to me- ‘Revert back’ means to ‘go back back’. ‘Get back to me’ is more appropriate.

4. The staffs are specialists, recruited from all over the world-’Staff’ also means ‘stick’ or ‘rod’ which is countable. When we use ‘staffs’, we are saying that a collection of sticks were recruited instead of a group of employees!

Parents' intervention in education

‘For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.’ (Ecclesiastes 7:12)

‘Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.’ (Proverbs 4:13)

I have been giving tuition for free to this Primary 3 boy since February this year. He comes from a disadvantage home. So far, the progress he made has been slow though I put in my best efforts. May be this has to do with lack of parents’ intervention and strategizing in his education. I do think parents’ involvement plays a significant role in helping a child to do well in life later on. Education is the primary means here for socio-economic mobility. However in recent years, children from more successful people are found to do better than those from the lower-income families. Things have changed compared to the past. Children nowadays are generally less ‘self-reliant’ and motivated. So if they are left on their own, they may not do well under the present highly competitive education system.

Is every school a good school? I don’t think so especially for secondary school level onwards. Just ask those who are teachers. They will tell you that resources are not the same for all the schools. How do we assess a school? Again the most objective method is academic success. Given a choice, no parents would want to base their choice of school for their kids on non-academic yardsticks like arts, music and sports. Academic success is the most recognizable form of success in life to most people, so is our society. Just look at how scholarships are awarded. We are still far from giving our children a more well-rounded education which involves also areas like character development and nurturing compassion for humanity.

Parents can strategize their children education in different ways. One of them is through private tuition. Private tuition has its place for certain situations. Classroom style of tuition generally is not so effective but one-to-one tuition benefits academically weaker children like this boy, who do need help in what they could not understand in class. In a typical class of forty students, it is impossible for teachers to give individual attention to each child. Ironically, examination questions have becoming tougher over the years! In the past, I used to think that primary 3 is still a ‘play year’ until I taught this boy. In fact, primary 3 seems to be a ‘defining’ year , where a child has to build a good foundation so that he can handle well for his upper primary education.

Hope & will to live

‘Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.’ (Romans 12:12)

While waiting outside the consultation room for my surgeon to review my cancer marker and C T scan reports a couple of days ago, I saw a poster on the wall with this caption, ‘There is no medicine such as hope’. Indeed, the strongest instinct a person has is survival instinct. Hope gives us staying power even when we are in very challenging situations. When I read the remarkable cancer story of Lance Armstrong, the famous American cyclist who was recently banned by the United States Anti-Doping Agency (Usada) for life and stripped of his Tour de France titles for failing to answer doping charges, I couldn’t help but asked myself this pertinent question- would I give up hope if I was to be in the same kind of situation as him? 

Lance had ignored ominous symptoms for months, the soreness in his groin, bad headaches and difficulty in breathing, thought it is normal for a professional athlete to experience such aches and pains. One day while at home, he suffered a blinding headache and coughing up blood. By then, his testicle had swollen to three times its normal size. Later on same day in 1996 he was diagnosed with advanced 3rd-stage testicular cancer which had metastasized into his lymph nodes, abdomen, lungs and brain. The first team of doctors he consulted pulled his mom aside and told her she should prepare herself to lose her only child. He underwent two surgeries, one to remove his cancerous testicle and another to remove two cancerous lesions on his brain. Over a three-month period, he received four rounds of gruesome chemo. The doctors estimated that he had about a 40 percent chance of surviving. They later admitted his chances of surviving were actually much lower. His cancer went into complete remission miraculously, and by January 1998 he was back to serious training for bicycle racing. 

Below are some excerpts of what Armstrong said about his cancer experience: 

“I can now say that my life is better because of my cancer experience. I appreciate my life in a completely new and better way because I faced cancer and was lucky enough to survive.” 

“I also think that a person with cancer needs to seek out support from friends and family. I had a group of people there for me—to listen to me, cheer me on or remind me that I wasn't really alone. I was lucky to know that other people were invested in my survival; you can never overestimate the benefit of that kind of support and friendship.”

“Hope is the greatest weapon a person has. Ask the tough questions, get a second opinion, take care of yourself, and do whatever you have to do to keep hope alive.”

Empty nest syndrome

‘Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.’ (Proverbs 19:14)

‘Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.’ (Proverbs 20:6-7) 

With our children growing up and one of them is leaving us for awhile, we realized that very soon, our children will no longer need us as much as before, inadvertently this ‘empty nest’ syndrome will be experienced by us. The ‘true’ level of our marital relationship will reveal. It is then couples realized how deep or shallow are their relationships with each other.

When our children are with us, they have become our “mediator”. Our conversations and activities are mainly centered on their needs. We are so busy with taking care of them that sometimes just to have an hour or so interrupted time to talk to our spouse can be so hard to come by. Most couples like us have to admit that we are so exhausted by the end of the day that we failed to spend enough time working and improving on our relationships. One day, when without our children around, we wouldhave to look at each other directly, no longer buffered by them. There is this fear that the reality of not know each other deep enough begins to sink in us. The marital relationships can go downward spiral.

Sometimes unfulfilled expectations, old unresolved issues, and wounds started to resurface. Our behaviors can turn ugly or ungraceful towards our spouses. Sinful human nature in us begins to reassert. Deep cracks revealed, worst, couples can become so emotional detached towards one another that each chooses to go separate way. I heard a case where when the husband retired, the couples ended up having frequent quarrels, so the husband decided to live separately from his spouse in a neighbouring country.

The anti-dotes to all these appear to be- avoid bringing out old issues; learn to forgive and forget; respect and accept one another, and keep the communication channel open with one another. We need to make efforts and find ways to renew the marriage vows. There has been a worrying trend in our society where more are embracing the Western view on the dynamics of marriage. In this world where temptations abound, be alert of the devilish schemes out to destroy marriages.

C T Scan Report

“As for you, Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me.” (Psalm 40:11)

Yesterday afternoon, I saw my surgeon and got my C T scan and blood test reports. My blood results are OK with readings more or less the same as before (CA 125, CA19-9, and CEA). The scan shows that the left gastric node has not increased in size (reduced very marginally) and all the other lower abdominal areas are normal. However, it still warrants monitoring, so I will still need to go for another scan in six month’s time for review. Really appreciate all those who prayed for me,and thank God for His immense mercy and grace.

I had so far gone for CT scan four times. Despite that, I still have phobia each time I did the scan, especially when the nurse injected a kind of dye into my body. One can feel the distinct ‘warmth’ sensation travelling in the body. I remember one prominent oncologist ever shared in the weekly ‘Mind Your Body’ that his patient actually becomes blind from the procedure due to allergic reaction.

C T scan

‘You, Lord, give perfect peace even in turmoil to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.’ ( Isaiah 26:3)

Time flies and it is already six months since I last had my CT scan. It is time to go for another one which has been scheduled this Wednesday, and report will be out the next Wednesday.

It has been almost four years since I underwent for cancer treatments. After having gone through pains and sufferings, more knowledgeable about cancer than before, I feel that my mind is somehow more conditioned and seasoned to accept what may come along the way. Any bad news should have lesser impact than previously. The past medical experiences also equip me to deal with difficult choices and situations more calmly.

This scan will tell whether my cancer has relapsed.