Who has the most influence?

'Train up a child  in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.' (Proverbs 22:6)

 

In the past, we parents tend to be the ones who influenced our children the most. We often accept it as a matter of fact without much thought over it. However, things are very different today- parents probably have the least influence over those under their charge, been overtaken by the media and peer groups.

 

On this issue, Margaret Mead in her book, Culture and Commitment: A Study of the Generation Gap, made some interesting observations. She said that there are three kinds of societal patterns in the American history, which can also apply to our society.

 

Under the Post-figurative, the line of influence passes relatively without much hindrance from the grandfather to the father, and to the son. The grandfather expects the son to hold the same values as his own, though he does not verbalize them. They work together in the same place, likely on the family business, have limited contact with people outside the family, hence, the family influence is very effective and strong.

 

With the industrial revolution, children came under new influence from outside the family, especially the peers, which overwhelmed the parental influence. This social pattern Mead termed as Co-figurative.

 

We are now in a Pre-figurative society, where there are thousands of voices crying out to be heard, enormous chunk of messages and information to be received and processed. Media pressure added on to peer pressure. We have never lived in this kind of internet world before which is quietly shaping us emotionally, intellectually and spiritually without actual face-to-face relationships.

 

What can we do as parents in such society? Sometimes I find myself lose confidence and feel like been overwhelmed by the under currents. The world is changing so fast that perspectives and values are changing rapidly too. However, we do know what values are unchanging in a changing world which we can impart to our children. We must do more than just live in the same house with our children, merely taking care of their material needs. Our responsibilities go beyond ensuring our children getting the good grades;doing the right thing at the right time, and at the right place. Sharing and talking are important weapons to counter the undesirable influences permeating in the society, or else we can end up merely as spectators of life. In fact, some parents are living as though they are still living in a post-figurative society. My mother spent a great time sharing her life experiences with me. Now I begin to understand why she has such a huge influence over me in my life.

'Self-worth'

‘You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!’ (Psalm 139:13-16)

 

Almost two months ago I read with sadness that the famous actor and comedian, Robin Williams, apparently ended his life by committed suicide. It came as a surprise that the man who brought the world laughter, had been battling for severe depression for some time.

 

It is obvious that things are definitely getting better for most people with living standards going up and people are living much longer. We are in material utopia but unhappy lots. The great philosopher Aristotle ascribes high value to happiness when he defines it as a ‘highest good’. In his book, The Progress Paradox, Gregg Easterbrook concludes that the more progress a society is, the more its people are unhappy by looking at the number of depressed cases.

 

I think a person who struggled with his self-worth can never be a happy person. Too often people let other used yardsticks such as popularity, wealth, performance to judge his own significance. These are all ‘fluid’ parameters that are fleeting. How we value a person should be much more than that.

 

Easterbrook suggests some antidotes to unhappiness- to be optimistic, to show gratitude and acts of forgiveness. All these can make life more fulfilling, not only for oneself, but also for others. They give meaning and purpose to one’s existence. To the Christians, self-worthiness is never an issue as we are made by God and for God in his image with eternity destiny. Our worth is not really of the ‘self’ but the worth given to us by God as His children.

Uproar over 'penguins'

‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.’( 1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

 

Recently almost everyone is talking about ‘penguins’. It all started with the national library decided to pulp some children’s books which contained homosexual themes, but later decided to put them under the adult section. Some people think that the authority’s decision is based on religion ground which is inappropriate for a secular society like us. However, even in a secular society, they forget that there are shared common values which have their roots in religions. Some parents even said that they are the one who should decide what kind of books their children can read, not the library. That argument stands only if it is within their private home, not when it is in the library which is a public institution which must uphold the common norms and values.

 

There are appropriate ways of understand people with different experiences, circumstances, and respect the diversity, but it can be beyond a child’s understanding and discernment. ‘Who’s in my family’ is about two siblings and their parents off for a day at the zoo, and discovered that there are all kinds of human families along with a variety of animal families. ‘The White Swan Express’ centred on the adoption journey of four families, one of which has two moms. ‘And Tango Makes Three’ is based on a story of two male penguins in New York’s Central Park zoo which made a nest together. Later they managed to hatch an egg given by the zookeeper.

 

In the bible, there is no big or small sin. Homosexual is ranked the same as other forms of sin. Whether it is homosexual activity, pre-marital or extra-marital, heterosexual are all sinful ways to seek sexual expression and fulfilment. The goal should be to pursue holy sexuality, as someone puts it. If we are single, choose abstinence; if we are married, then be faithful (marriage between man and woman).

Drivers of self-life

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1John 2:16)

 

The ‘World’ as the Bible sees it, is driven by three things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. Among them, the pride of life, to me, is the worst evil as it motivates the other two lusts. It is also one that is most difficult to overcome. Everyone wants to build up oneself in his own eyes or in the eyes of others. It is in our DNA. To Christians, it means a failure to accept the reality of our utter dependence on God, instead see God in ourselves.

 

The pride of life has to do with cravings for attention, power, boasting of human achievements and desiring to gain worldly wisdom. Basically it is worship of self. The lust of eyes gives rise to endless desire for possessions, envy, addictions of all kinds such as sexual and fitness. The lust of flesh relates to sensual gratifications, gluttony. In any rise and fall of a nation, these three things are present as it reflects the fallen nature of human race. In the first stage, a nation grows strong, wealthy and powerful. It becomes arrogant of its achievements. When the top is reached, it does not satisfy. There is the usual fear of someone else will take over its prominence. Later, it enters the second stage of materialism, been preoccupied with things. There is this unquenchable appetite for more – homes, cars, clothes etc. The last stage centres on sensuality, been caught up with experiences of feelings, emotions. What really matter is how one feels about it. There is no absolute right or wrong. Everyone does what it is right in his own eyes.

 

Sound familiar? Where do we stand now in this country? It looks like we are already in the last stage. People are now advocating ‘marketplace diversity’ through recruitment and networking dinner for LGBT students. What does this phase mean today? It is more than gender identity and sexual orientation? That thought chilled me to the bone.

Punitive or Rehabilitory

‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’ (Philippians 4:8)

Any justice system, in my opinion, should perform these three roles, i.e. carrying out justice, preserve law and order, and protect the public. In passing sentence, should the goal be punitive or rehabilitory.The recent trend around the world seems to be for the latter. Those who are for punitive think that it produces deterrence effect on the offenders, hopefully they learnt what they did was wrong and not to repeat it. It also has the effect on the general population who are deterred by the threat of punishment if they are caught. On the other hand, people who preferred rehabilitory feel that prison is a breeding ground for crimes and its social environment is detrimental to reform the offenders.

The danger of swinging towards rehabilitation is that it opens up a can of worms. Take for example, can a voyeur or shoplifter use psychiatric disorder as a defence in the court, and get away with probation instead of custodial sentence? In psychology, it is called ‘PFC dysfunction’. When a person’s prefrontal cortex (which regulates impulse behaviour) is not working properly, he may not be able to control his impulses. He is often oblivion to future consequences and focus only on immediate gratification. However, I think no one can abdicate responsibility from one’s deeds. If we allowed garbage to enter our minds, our actions will bear the result of that input.

Freudism, a study of human behaviours, breeds and encourages personal irresponsibility. Putting blame on someone else is easy, just like this interesting poem I came across:

“I went to my psychiatrist to be psycho-analysed
To see why I killed my cat & blacked my husband’s eyes
When I was one, I saw my mummy hit my dad with a trunk
That follows naturally I’m always drunk
When I was two, I saw my father kissed my maid one day
That’s why I suffer now from kleptomania
At three, I have the feeling of resentment against my brother
So it follows naturally I poisoned all my lovers
But now I’m happy here as I’m taught that
Everything that I do wrong is someone’s fault”

Liberty and Responsibility

‘In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’ (Ephesians 4:26-27)

 

Recently a protest organiser threatened to deface poster of a senior office-bearer here. It was reported that on his Facebook posting, he wrote that a huge poster would be put up for protesters to vent their anger by ‘spitting, throw eggs, splash dog poo, draw graffiti and kick’. Such appalling thoughts, even though not eventually carried out in actions, warrants a concern by all. In fact, I noticed that there is an increasing number of netizens who have been warned and asked to retract their postings over the social media in the last few months.

 

Defacing can be carried out on different platforms such as posters, public possessions, religious buildings and currency notes. It is a deliberate attempt, not a sudden one under provocation. This is a wrong way of expressing anger or hate. There are other legitimate and lawful means people can choose to make their protests. Early this year a British father has been sentenced to six months in jail for spraying purple paint across a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II in Westminster Abbey. His defense was that he merely defaced the royal portrait with the word "help" to highlight the helplessness the divorced fathers faced, being denied access to their children. I was shocked by the comments made by the newspaper's readers.  Most of them do not see it is as a serious crime.

 

We have to treat every human being with respect and dignity, ascribed a sense of worth, being valued as who he is. This also include objects that carried symbolic significance. In fact, dignity and respect are the key principles of Human Rights Act. Everyone know them by human instincts, their inherent values, even in a most primitive society.

 

This society is slowly opening up for diverse, alternate views, and space for expressing them. We should treasure such trend and not to use this liberty irresponsibly. If we cannot do that, then we do not deserve such freedom and it may be taken away. The argument that total self-expression is the key to modern good living is absurd. It is a fact that our human nature is self-centred, inherently evil. We have to learn to be self-restraint in what we expressed, not more and more new legislations to censure us.

Mother's Day

‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honour your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."’(Ephesians 6:1-3)

This year’s most popular video clip for Mother’s Day is one from American Greetings Inc. The video is about a fake job been created and posted on internet and in newspapers. Real interviews were conducted online. The shortlisted applicants were told of the job’s requirements. It entailed high level of mobility (such as long hours of standing, bending, moving about). There would be no annual/sick leave, lunch break, medical benefits, pension, salary, bonus etc. The candidate must also have good interpersonal skills. After digesting these information, all these applicants came to the same conclusion, that is, it is utterly insane or inhuman that any person in this world would ever do such a job. However, they were told there is already one person doing such job - the mum!

 

Most of us take mother’s work for granted. It has been estimated that the average stay-at-home mum’s “salary” for 94-hour work week is estimated to worth US$113K a year. However, no country in the world so far take mum’s work into account when computing its GNP. Mother is the most undervalued person one can think of. It’s no wonder that more married women would rather work outside their homes, helped by the availability of child care facilities and family-friendly policies. With the passing of my mother’s generation, my generation of mothers belongs mostly to working- mother category. There are pros and cons to such trend.

 

On the positive side, we are able to contribute financially to the family, so our children have access to better healthcare, nutrition, education and opportunities. Studies have also shown that working mother’s children exhibit higher level of confidence and independence.

 

One of the drawbacks of being a working mother is that it is utterly tough (almost impossible) to balance work and family commitments. We are stressed out, fatigue, and too tired to interact with our children. They therefore received less discipline and less support from us. It can be a case of our kids being cared for by different people and received different types of discipline, which lead to confusion and behavioural problems later on. I feel that we are beginning to pay the price of being a working mum- our children are more rebellious and disobedient. Our bonding is also not as close as the previous generations. A meal out on Mother’s Day may not carry as much meaning as before as time goes by.

MH370 -the anomaly of anomaly?

‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?’ (Jeremiah 17:9)

 

The recent MH370 tragedy has captured the whole world attention. What actually happened to the flight is still a mystery with almost one month has gone by (since 8th of March), no wreckage has yet been found. People started to come up with all sorts of theories to explain away the possibility, and one expert in fact described the whole episode as an anomaly of anomaly. Is it? Can we ignore the human aspect of it?

 

I see this whole incident reflects the depravity of human nature. A visit to Cambodia Genocide Museum or the Holocaust Memorial Center will testify to that. Any person is capable of devising a diabolic scheme to achieve his goal whilst inflicts maximum pain upon his fellowmen. The person behind this tragedy is one such being, who deliberately shutdown all radar signals to evade the detection of its diverted flight path so as to fly far off course to somewhere unknown. Experts have come up with many suggestions to improve the technical aspects of the plane, tighten aviation procedures and airport security. However, at the end of the day, none of these measures can beat the power of human mind when it is used in the wrong way.

 

Can we fully comprehend what these passengers (including babies) went through during the whole journey? Are we able to adequately describe the anguish and turmoil faced by their families? The possibility of no closure or answers on their loved ones is a very painful thing to live with. My heart really goes to them.

Internet hoax

Information has been expanding exponentially in this internet age. In the past it used to double every ten years. We were already found ourselves unable to catch up then. Now things have become worst. People tend not to process the information they received by carrying out fact finding, too eager to pass it over to their contacts. Of course, nowadays with the help of technology, it has become faster and easier to do such than by word-of-mouth. Hence, we ended up receiving lot of junk stuffs and many of them are ‘hoax’ in nature.

 

The most common types of Internet hoax are those related to internet viruses and health tips from the ‘experts’. Here are some that I received recently:

(1) Internet virus alert message (Update Window live) – It has been circulating over the years, resurfaced from time to time. It claims that it will burn your whole hard disk and render your computer irreparable. It says that this is the worst virus announced by CNN and has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive one, and discovered by McAfee. You can’t find any such announcement on any of these companies’ websites!

(2) All European new born babies will be micro chipped from May 2014 – The news says that his chip will also be an impressive GPS sensor that will task with a micro- disposable battery every 2 years. It will be linked straight to a satellite, which will guide the networks. Interestingly, this article attracted 180 comments from readers who believed this news is true!

(3) On Dec 31st and 1st Jan 2014, the popular Whatsapp will become chargeable. It will cost 1 cent (euro) per message. However if one sends this message to 10 people, it will show that he is an avid user and his logo will become blue, otherwise, whatsapp will activate the billing!

(4) A FB user received information from someone that FB has changed its privacy configuration that any person on FB anywhere in the world has accessed to someone else’s photos posted, the “likes” and “comments”, unless he asks all his contacts in FB to do these steps. First, place the cursor over his photo that appears in the box (without clicking) and a window will open. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then go to “Settings”. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments” and “Like” and “photos”. This way, his activities with his family and friends will no longer be made public. Fortunately he was told shortly by a friend that this is an old scam. None of his contacts wasted their time by following his weird and ludicrous ‘instructions’!

 

Health tips by ‘experts’ are the most proliferated ones as everyone wants to stay healthy. I learnt not to take anonymous health advice seriously as many are contradictory. You can end up confuse, and do more harm to your body by following these tips blindly. The ways they explained how our body works are utterly ridiculous, for examples:

 

(1) ‘Why do people need to urinate so much at night time? Answer from the Cardiac Doctor, Dr Stephen Mak (is there such a person?) - Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc.) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. Correct time to drink water is very important. Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs ;1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion; 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure; 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack.’

(2) ‘It's important to know how and when to eat fruit. It means not eating fruit after a meal! Fruit should be eaten on an empty stomach. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil. Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat! Grey hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes -all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach.’

(3) ‘Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! The cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It may even be your own life!’

Valentine's Day

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

 

“I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did?” (Mother Teresa)

 

 

Valentine’s Day is here again, a time associated with romance and red roses. Love is in the air. We can attempt to do many good things but if we do them without love, ultimately there is no value in what we do.

 

The dictionary defines love as a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection to a person, people or thing. Unfortunately it only gives one-sided meaning to it as it says only about the one who loves, but nothing at all on the beloved. I like how the Apostle Paul gives love a deeper meaning through the above epistle he wrote to the Corinthian Christians. He describes what love is about- its characteristics, one that are action-based and other-centred. So it excludes those that we expressed only in thoughts and words, and self-serving type.

 

We can substitute the words “Love” and “it” in the above passage with our names and read it aloud. I think we will fail in every characteristic of love mentioned in it. That shows how fall we all fall short of God’s standard. It also reveals why we have difficult relationships with our fellow beings, how each of us contributes towards making this world an unhappy place to live in, more stress, more unforgiving and less graciousness.

Natural Affection

'Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.' (Franklin D Roosevelt)

It is a fact of life that we are drawn or attracted to some people, and not the others. This is termed as ‘natural affection’. It is based on our feeling, something in that person. However, when our feeling changes towards that person, it can change our affection accordingly. So if the husband tells his wife that he still ‘loves’ her but has no more feeling over her, she will be utterly crushed. I don’t think any woman can accept that!

 

In this country, under the Law of divorce, the most cited reasons for divorce is that the couple’s marriage has irretrievably broken down due to adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion for at least 2 years; or they have lived apart for a continuous period for at least 3 years. A marriage relationship that is anchored around natural affection is very vulnerable to fail.

 

 A marriage mediator once shared this sad story. A couple who were married for nearly 20 years went for counselling. Their relationship turned cold in the last 6 years after a particular domestic incident. The husband’s feeling towards the wife changed, and was adamant on a divorce by citing the wife had ‘unreasonable behaviour’. She refused to divorce despite been offered generous maintenance and share of the matrimonial assets. However, she only had two options- either allowed the divorce to proceed without contesting by accepting the husband’s allegations of her unreasonable behaviour as ‘true’, or contest the divorce. A contested divorce is very costly in terms of time, money and also emotionally. She felt the whole thing was so unfair to her, but finally chose the second option in tears. She was forced to accept her husband’s terms even though she didn’t want a divorce.

Gratitude

‘Always give thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ (Ephesians 5:20)

As we said goodbye to 2013 and embrace this New Year, I think one thing we should not forget to do is to recount our blessings and be grateful to God, and the people who made our lives on this earth better. The world that we lived in is increasingly operated on a culture of ‘nothing to thank for’. The perspective is more of ‘what is my right/entitlement’. For example, natural resources are just things come into existence by chance. If we start to see the things we have as gifts, or as the demonstration of love by someone, then we will learn to appreciate and show gratitude. Such attitude strengthens human relationships, as when we expressed gratitude, we are actually attached values to what we received. We can even see our own lives on higher plane than everything is about cost-and-benefit.

 

In some countries, the attitude of gratitude is emphasized in their culture. For instance, when you are invited to a Danish home for dinner, you are expected to bring flowers, good quality chocolate or wine. One should contact the hostess beforehand whether she would like you to bring a dish. When you are there, offer to help the hostess with the preparation or cleaning up after a meal is served. Wait to be told where to sit. One should not begin to eat until the hostess says,’Vaersgo og spise’, which translates as ‘come on and eat’. At the end of the meal, everybody sat around the table would take turn to thank the hostess, ‘tak for mad, aka’, which means’ thank you for the food’, before leaving the table. The next time when you are in contact with that person by phone or when both met, the first thing to say is ‘thank you for the last time’. Let us join them to make the world at a better place to live in!

Perfect Gift

'Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.'(2 Corinthians 9:15)

 

Today unfortunately Christmas has become the most commercialised festive celebration. Reading some of the inspiring Christmas stories has now become one of the ways for me to recapture the true meaning of Christmas. Here is one such story:

 

The writer wrote ‘during the summer of 1944, my father sold everything they owned, took all the money and disappeared from our lives.’ His mother suddenly found herself having to take care and provide for the five boys.

 

He is thankful to his mother for remained positive throughout this difficult time, put in her best efforts she could, doing all the man tasks such as ‘horse-drawn plough, haul hay for the cattle, and harvest crops.’ Then Christmas approaching and the writer noticed his mother didn’t smile as much as before. Later he came to know that it was because she was worried that she couldn’t afford to buy Christmas presents for the children.

 

One day he saw his mother returned from the forest with a stack of tree limbs. She would cut these pieces of wood into different shapes. On Christmas Eve when the family gathered around the Christmas tree, his mother gave out the presents. His brothers opened the packages and found ‘brightly coloured trucks, tractors and trains’, all ‘beautifully crafted’. As for the writer, his present was a hand-carved bow and a quiver of arrows.

 

The writer concluded that, ‘Looking back, my mother’s determination and perseverance changed the harsh reality of that time, transforming our poverty into a memorable Christmas filled with delight’.

 

This story really warmed my heart. Truly, Christmas is about giving oneself, making sacrifices, just like Christ.

Grace

“If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa, there are also roads that lead to their goal. Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.” (Nelson Mandela)

“Gone is the distinction between Jew and Greek, slave and free man, male and female—you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:2)

 

The world has recently lost a great man whose moral and political leadership enabled his country to enjoy peaceful transition from apartheid to one that pursues forgiveness and reconciliations. Many were in fact fearful when he came to power as in his early years he had a rebellious streak, and was branded as terrorist. Nelson Mandela shown otherwise by exemplified such values himself, which in turn sowed these seeds amongst his people.

 

I read that during one of the ‘Truth and Reconciliation Commission’ hearings after Mandela became its president, a policeman gave an account how he and his colleagues shot a teenage boy and burned the body to destroy the evidence. Years later he returned to the same house and bound the boy’s father and burned him before his wife. The judge asked what the woman wanted from this policeman. She answered, “He took all my family away from me, and I still have a lot of love to give. Twice a month, I would like him to come and spend a day with me so I can be a mother to Him. And I would like him to know that he is forgiven by God, and that I forgive him too. I would like to embrace him so he can know my forgiveness is real.” The policeman was so overwhelmed that he fainted there and then.

 

Such is the amazing grace that transcends any human understanding. Grace is God's unmerited favour, kindness from God we don't deserve. We are merely used by Him to dispense His grace.

Body, Soul & Spirit

‘But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.’ (1 Corinthians 2:14)

‘Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.’ (Amos 5:23-24)

 

Recently we had a small gathering amongst ex-high school mates. One of them suddenly asked a tough question- why many English great authors like Jane Austen and Charles Dickens ‘attacked’ Christianity in their books? A close friend came to our rescue, explained that religion was a popular theme as it played a very significant part in the people’s lives then.

 

I think ‘attack’ is not an appropriate term to use, after all, these are just novels. If you are a book critic, you are not supposed to ‘judge’ the characters in the novel. In those days, authors often incorporated the prevailing religious experiences into their story plots. For example, ‘The Crucible’, is based on historical fact about the colony of Salem Massachusetts. It was governed by way of theocracy, a system combines state and religion, where those in authority claimed that they were ordained to do God’s work. The community developed a very strict, repressive system in order to ensure social and religious conformity. Most forms of enjoyment and celebration were condemned, and expression of individuality is not allowed. In a sense, it was a kind of religious ‘legalism’ which Jesus warned of, as it emphasizes strict adherence to the letter of God’s teachings rather than the spirit. There was hardly any presence of God’s mercy and grace in such society, only many religious rituals, rules and regulations to follow.

 

Christians believed that man consists of three component parts: body, soul and spirit. Body is easier to understand as it is connects us to our five senses, hence, the material world we are in. The soul is our gates or doors to things like conscience, memory, reason, affections, imagination etc. It is the seat of human affinity. It is in from our souls that fleshly desires, passions, lusts and appetites come. The spirit is the innermost of our being, which is related to spiritual things such as worship, faith, hope, prayer. Hence, in order to understand spiritual things, the ‘natural man’ needs to surrender his own human will, letting God’s Spirit to regenerate his human spirit to understand, and appreciate the divine things.

 

It is clear that no amount of religious activities and duties a person do can to change his un-generated spirit until his own spirit come into contact with God’s Spirit. So to allow people of worldly minds and wisdom to deal with God’s things is disastrous. Chances are that they would use religion to control, manipulate people for self-gains as witnessed by the ugly history of the ruin of Christendom. People with only head knowledge about the bible will live a life of sterile religiosity.

Destiny

"LORD, make me to know my end and what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Surely every man walks about as a phantom; Surely they make an uproar for nothing; He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them” (Psalms 39:4-8)

 

Through reading a Christian book recently, I came to know the songs of Rich Mullins, a popular and talented Christian musician. When I read that he died at the age of 41 in a fatal car accident in a most unexpected way, it just kind of remind me that we are not in control of our days on this earth. Rich and Mitch McVicker, were on their way to a benefit concert when the jeep they were in lost control and overturned. Both were ejected from the vehicle. When a passing semi-trailer truck swerved to avoid the overturned Jeep, Mullins, who was too injured to move out of the path of the oncoming truck, was hit and died instantly at the scene. McVicker was seriously injured but survived.

 

Every day we are bound to come across unfortunate stories of such nature. I read some time ago how Mr Lim Guang Chin, at the age of 34, was killed in a motorcycle accident, leaving behind four children age 3 to 13. He had just lost his wife who died of colon cancer 2 months ago. Then there is the 28-year old professional footballer who woke up one morning, felt a lump in his neck, and was later diagnosed as having Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

 

Such stories can stir up fear of death in us. Someone once said that anything that caused you to fear is your ‘God’. How true it is if we do not have correct perspective on death. We can end up being under the bondage of that fear, in this case, death. If we fear cancer, cancer becomes our ‘God’. It opens the way to dark and negative forces filling up our mind, and they begin to take us over. As I entered four-and-a half year after I finished my chemotherapy treatment, I am very thankful to God for extended my life. I know He does it for His purpose and will. It is a miracle that I am still alive, given the bad prognosis of my sickness by my doctor.

 

Storms of life always strengthen one’s character if one responses positively. My life now is on a higher plane- moving from the phase of been preoccupied with anything to do with cancer, to living out a more meaningful and fruitful life, always with a thankful heart to my God, for whatever number of days He wants to add on to my lifespan.

Xenophobia

“When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien.” (Leviticus 19:33)
”You shall have one law for the alien and for the citizen: for I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 24:22)

 

 My daughter related an incident on the train that she witnessed recently. A young lady was standing alone. Upon seeing a foreign worker got into the train and stood beside her, she intuitively moving far away. It was a Sunday and this guy was neatly dressed, and not exhibiting any unbecoming behaviour. I tell myself, are more and more Singaporeans behaving this way (Xenophobia)? I think we have to strike a balance in our views especially when one reads news like these:

 

“A worker who worked as a painter at a link-way was reported to have fallen on October 6. It was believed that he was put on a truck few days later, and dumped in a back alley at another location where he was found by a passer-by. It appeared that his clothes had been changed.”

“A foreign worker suspected of dying from rat-transmitted disease. The worker together with others, were housed in a makeshift zinc-roof structure.”

The sheer size of foreign workers has reached a level that we need a strong legal framework and more staff strength to protect their interest too. Much has been done to the domestic workers (about 200,000) but more need to be done for those especially in the construction sectors (about 250,000). I don’t see how we can become a more compassionate and just society if we do not treat aliens with human dignity.

Quagmire of welfare system

'Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool layeth open his folly.' (Proverbs 13:16)
 '......The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.' (2 Thessalonians 3:10)

 

The trial of a British man, who was on welfare, killed six of his children, brought spotlight into the pitfalls of UK’s welfare system. It was reported that he and his two 'partners' claimed up to 54k Sterling Pound a year in benefits to support 11 children under his custody. It was said that the man had not held any full-time job since 1991 though he is physically fit.

 

One-third of British public spending goes to pensions, unemployment benefits, housing, and health. This is not surprising considering one can get help from so many fronts, with rent, council tax, health, education, jobseeker’s allowance and even legal costs. The welfare system has become a lifestyle choice instead of short-term relief for many .Technically it is possible for a household to claim even higher than the national average earnings.

 

The original intention of the welfare system (which was started after WWII) was to provide safety net for the poor and unemployed. Now people see such benefits as their entitlements or rights and it becomes politically difficult to amend them. We have been rightfully warned of the risk of a welfare state as it will develop the so-called entitlement mentality of being addicted to government welfare. For example, this country only spent 4.1% of GDP on healthcare as compared to 9.8% for UK in 2009. The policy of co-payment is a good one. The medishield scheme(medical insurance) enabled me to cover more than half of my critical illness treatment. If we offer free medical care, the tendency is for people to over consumed medical treatments. Invest in education, infrastructure and research are better ways for a country to stay competitive.

Depression

The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit?” (Proverbs 18:14)

 

The recent suicide of the son of a famous pastor brings spotlight to mental illness - depression. Just why some people are prone to depression and suicidal are hard to explain. They are generally kind, gentle and sensitive to others but they themselves cannot handle their own waves of despair. At some point in life everyone experiences depression. It is a more a matter of how long one stays in that state.

 

It seems that our own childhood experiences, biological as well as our genes contribute to our make-up. Psychology and environment also play their parts. People suffering from depression tend to draw their self-identity from negative symptoms around them e.g. helpless, hopeless, isolation, trapped in a vicious cycle of believing that they are worthless with no hope. On the other hand, some people despite the severity and long durations of setbacks they faced emerged unscathed despite these unpleasant life experiences.

Many find themselves able to overcome depression by changing their spiritual condition. Faith can help them to begin to revolve their lives around the new self-identity- that they are loved, cherished , and develop positive characters in their lives later on such as courage, fortitude, and determination.

 

Finding meaning and purpose in life is vital in overcome depression. Studies of suicide notes rarely mentioned problems like failing health, rejection or financial troubles. Rather, they speak more of being “tired of life” with suicide as “a way out”. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist, discovered during the Nazi death camps that those who had no goal in life were unlikely to survive, as compared to those who had strong political or religious convictions.

New investment paradigm?

"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled."(Charles Haddon Spurgeon)

 

The paradigm of investing in a property here has changed for the last 2 years or so. People apparently are no more deterred by the slew of curbing measures. Increasingly more and more people are viewing property investment as a kind of insurance policy. In fact, it is a better investment than the latter based on the assumption that the monthly mortgage installment is enough to pay off from the rental income. Also, home prices in future indeed will rise; hence provide a handsome sum for retirement. The enemy for property investors appear to be ‘wait and see’ attitude which causes one to miss the boat.

 

There is inherent risk in forecasting what the future property prices will be like down the road in as there are so many variables at play- government policies, interest rate, market psychology, land supply etc.With the release of Population White Paper recently, property investors become even more excited and started to postulate the unending demand for housing from the foreigners.

 

Will era of huge capital gains still here to stay? Already the new launches of private properties have been priced at astronomical level. It pays to be prudent and be able to sit through his investment. One thing I know is that Bull Run does not last forever but it is difficult to stop a running train. Newspapers and media have been amplifying those ‘successful’ investment stories. What about those investors who were caught on the wrong foot? Talking about this, I still remember how my ex-client lost all that he had during the Asia financial crisis when he and his brothers who originally inherited a number of properties, overleveraged and were caught when the property bubble burst.