Uproar over 'penguins'

‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.’( 1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

 

Recently almost everyone is talking about ‘penguins’. It all started with the national library decided to pulp some children’s books which contained homosexual themes, but later decided to put them under the adult section. Some people think that the authority’s decision is based on religion ground which is inappropriate for a secular society like us. However, even in a secular society, they forget that there are shared common values which have their roots in religions. Some parents even said that they are the one who should decide what kind of books their children can read, not the library. That argument stands only if it is within their private home, not when it is in the library which is a public institution which must uphold the common norms and values.

 

There are appropriate ways of understand people with different experiences, circumstances, and respect the diversity, but it can be beyond a child’s understanding and discernment. ‘Who’s in my family’ is about two siblings and their parents off for a day at the zoo, and discovered that there are all kinds of human families along with a variety of animal families. ‘The White Swan Express’ centred on the adoption journey of four families, one of which has two moms. ‘And Tango Makes Three’ is based on a story of two male penguins in New York’s Central Park zoo which made a nest together. Later they managed to hatch an egg given by the zookeeper.

 

In the bible, there is no big or small sin. Homosexual is ranked the same as other forms of sin. Whether it is homosexual activity, pre-marital or extra-marital, heterosexual are all sinful ways to seek sexual expression and fulfilment. The goal should be to pursue holy sexuality, as someone puts it. If we are single, choose abstinence; if we are married, then be faithful (marriage between man and woman).

In Memoriam: My dajie (1942-2014)

'Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.' (Psalm 144:4)

My dajie (means eldest sister in Chinese), whom I loved most among my siblings, passed away recently.

 

Dajie suffered all through her life. She was born during the World War II. Life was very tough, coupled with the arrival of many siblings, close to one another. Being the eldest in the family, she shouldered the most responsibility of helping up my mother;she also bore the blunt of my mother’s bad temper. By the age of seven while her peers were looking forward to their first day in school, my dajie already helped my mother to tap the rubber trees and farming.

 

Life after married was equally tough. She had to put up with a mother-in-law who was very steep in Chinese traditions. Besides her four children, she had to take care of the four siblings of her husband. She never given a birthday treat or a mother’s day celebration throughout her life.

 

Dajie has many talents and her memory is superb. Despite been deprived of any former education, she learnt everything on her own such as sewing, writing. I had sweet memories of my childhood days because of her. She would sew beautiful dresses for me, taught me Chinese when I was very young. There was also those Shaw Brothers’ Chinese movie treats when she received pocket monies from my mother.

 

The last six months of her life was terrible, having to endure the severe pain and the side effects of the strong painkillers. We wanted to put her in a nursing home as it had become increasingly difficult for her to manage on her own. She hesitated till the last two days of her life. Such is her perseverance, endurance and selflessness.

 

My bonding with this sister is so deep and strong that the only force that is powerful enough to cut short such bond is death. Time will heal my grief and the void of my heart, but I am glad that her suffering and sorrow are finally over. She is now in God’s warm, loving embrace. One day we shall meet again.

Drivers of self-life

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1John 2:16)

 

The ‘World’ as the Bible sees it, is driven by three things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. Among them, the pride of life, to me, is the worst evil as it motivates the other two lusts. It is also one that is most difficult to overcome. Everyone wants to build up oneself in his own eyes or in the eyes of others. It is in our DNA. To Christians, it means a failure to accept the reality of our utter dependence on God, instead see God in ourselves.

 

The pride of life has to do with cravings for attention, power, boasting of human achievements and desiring to gain worldly wisdom. Basically it is worship of self. The lust of eyes gives rise to endless desire for possessions, envy, addictions of all kinds such as sexual and fitness. The lust of flesh relates to sensual gratifications, gluttony. In any rise and fall of a nation, these three things are present as it reflects the fallen nature of human race. In the first stage, a nation grows strong, wealthy and powerful. It becomes arrogant of its achievements. When the top is reached, it does not satisfy. There is the usual fear of someone else will take over its prominence. Later, it enters the second stage of materialism, been preoccupied with things. There is this unquenchable appetite for more – homes, cars, clothes etc. The last stage centres on sensuality, been caught up with experiences of feelings, emotions. What really matter is how one feels about it. There is no absolute right or wrong. Everyone does what it is right in his own eyes.

 

Sound familiar? Where do we stand now in this country? It looks like we are already in the last stage. People are now advocating ‘marketplace diversity’ through recruitment and networking dinner for LGBT students. What does this phase mean today? It is more than gender identity and sexual orientation? That thought chilled me to the bone.

Punitive or Rehabilitory

‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’ (Philippians 4:8)

Any justice system, in my opinion, should perform these three roles, i.e. carrying out justice, preserve law and order, and protect the public. In passing sentence, should the goal be punitive or rehabilitory.The recent trend around the world seems to be for the latter. Those who are for punitive think that it produces deterrence effect on the offenders, hopefully they learnt what they did was wrong and not to repeat it. It also has the effect on the general population who are deterred by the threat of punishment if they are caught. On the other hand, people who preferred rehabilitory feel that prison is a breeding ground for crimes and its social environment is detrimental to reform the offenders.

The danger of swinging towards rehabilitation is that it opens up a can of worms. Take for example, can a voyeur or shoplifter use psychiatric disorder as a defence in the court, and get away with probation instead of custodial sentence? In psychology, it is called ‘PFC dysfunction’. When a person’s prefrontal cortex (which regulates impulse behaviour) is not working properly, he may not be able to control his impulses. He is often oblivion to future consequences and focus only on immediate gratification. However, I think no one can abdicate responsibility from one’s deeds. If we allowed garbage to enter our minds, our actions will bear the result of that input.

Freudism, a study of human behaviours, breeds and encourages personal irresponsibility. Putting blame on someone else is easy, just like this interesting poem I came across:

“I went to my psychiatrist to be psycho-analysed
To see why I killed my cat & blacked my husband’s eyes
When I was one, I saw my mummy hit my dad with a trunk
That follows naturally I’m always drunk
When I was two, I saw my father kissed my maid one day
That’s why I suffer now from kleptomania
At three, I have the feeling of resentment against my brother
So it follows naturally I poisoned all my lovers
But now I’m happy here as I’m taught that
Everything that I do wrong is someone’s fault”

Liberty and Responsibility

‘In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’ (Ephesians 4:26-27)

 

Recently a protest organiser threatened to deface poster of a senior office-bearer here. It was reported that on his Facebook posting, he wrote that a huge poster would be put up for protesters to vent their anger by ‘spitting, throw eggs, splash dog poo, draw graffiti and kick’. Such appalling thoughts, even though not eventually carried out in actions, warrants a concern by all. In fact, I noticed that there is an increasing number of netizens who have been warned and asked to retract their postings over the social media in the last few months.

 

Defacing can be carried out on different platforms such as posters, public possessions, religious buildings and currency notes. It is a deliberate attempt, not a sudden one under provocation. This is a wrong way of expressing anger or hate. There are other legitimate and lawful means people can choose to make their protests. Early this year a British father has been sentenced to six months in jail for spraying purple paint across a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II in Westminster Abbey. His defense was that he merely defaced the royal portrait with the word "help" to highlight the helplessness the divorced fathers faced, being denied access to their children. I was shocked by the comments made by the newspaper's readers.  Most of them do not see it is as a serious crime.

 

We have to treat every human being with respect and dignity, ascribed a sense of worth, being valued as who he is. This also include objects that carried symbolic significance. In fact, dignity and respect are the key principles of Human Rights Act. Everyone know them by human instincts, their inherent values, even in a most primitive society.

 

This society is slowly opening up for diverse, alternate views, and space for expressing them. We should treasure such trend and not to use this liberty irresponsibly. If we cannot do that, then we do not deserve such freedom and it may be taken away. The argument that total self-expression is the key to modern good living is absurd. It is a fact that our human nature is self-centred, inherently evil. We have to learn to be self-restraint in what we expressed, not more and more new legislations to censure us.

Mother's Day

‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honour your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."’(Ephesians 6:1-3)

This year’s most popular video clip for Mother’s Day is one from American Greetings Inc. The video is about a fake job been created and posted on internet and in newspapers. Real interviews were conducted online. The shortlisted applicants were told of the job’s requirements. It entailed high level of mobility (such as long hours of standing, bending, moving about). There would be no annual/sick leave, lunch break, medical benefits, pension, salary, bonus etc. The candidate must also have good interpersonal skills. After digesting these information, all these applicants came to the same conclusion, that is, it is utterly insane or inhuman that any person in this world would ever do such a job. However, they were told there is already one person doing such job - the mum!

 

Most of us take mother’s work for granted. It has been estimated that the average stay-at-home mum’s “salary” for 94-hour work week is estimated to worth US$113K a year. However, no country in the world so far take mum’s work into account when computing its GNP. Mother is the most undervalued person one can think of. It’s no wonder that more married women would rather work outside their homes, helped by the availability of child care facilities and family-friendly policies. With the passing of my mother’s generation, my generation of mothers belongs mostly to working- mother category. There are pros and cons to such trend.

 

On the positive side, we are able to contribute financially to the family, so our children have access to better healthcare, nutrition, education and opportunities. Studies have also shown that working mother’s children exhibit higher level of confidence and independence.

 

One of the drawbacks of being a working mother is that it is utterly tough (almost impossible) to balance work and family commitments. We are stressed out, fatigue, and too tired to interact with our children. They therefore received less discipline and less support from us. It can be a case of our kids being cared for by different people and received different types of discipline, which lead to confusion and behavioural problems later on. I feel that we are beginning to pay the price of being a working mum- our children are more rebellious and disobedient. Our bonding is also not as close as the previous generations. A meal out on Mother’s Day may not carry as much meaning as before as time goes by.

Post-medical Recovery Journey

"Do not let them (God's Words) depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and health to all their body" (Proverbs 4:21-22)

 

A close friend forwarded to me a video about how a Taiwanese brain surgeon overcame his colon cancer some years back. He went for the chemo treatment as usual but refused to have the operation to remove the tumour. The subsequent scan showed that the tumour was gone, and he has been well since then.

 

Although there is no such thing as one formula fits all, I think some of his ideas are very helpful in the recovery journey for any cancer patient:

 

(1) Overcome fear- This helps one to stay positive and be pro-active in pursuing recovery. This is the most difficult thing to conquer. It is tough not to have negative thoughts when we are in troubles. Most cancer patients faced this the first two years upon diagnosis.

(2)Cultivate peaceful mind -Get rid of temperament that impedes recovery such as unforgiving spirit, bad temper.

(3)Plenty of rest, learn to relax, enjoy food, live comfortably. Enough sleep is important.

(4) Build up strong immune system by eating well, have balanced diet. Don’t have to go for any special diet.

(5)Exercise- go for those that promote relaxation such as qigong. Avoid sudden strenuous exercise.

(6)Food- eat more veggie, less meat. Go for fresh food rather than everything organic. Avoid canned food, oily/fried/BBQ food and milk.

(7)Healthy bowel movement everyday- prevents toxins from forming in our body.

MH370 -the anomaly of anomaly?

‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?’ (Jeremiah 17:9)

 

The recent MH370 tragedy has captured the whole world attention. What actually happened to the flight is still a mystery with almost one month has gone by (since 8th of March), no wreckage has yet been found. People started to come up with all sorts of theories to explain away the possibility, and one expert in fact described the whole episode as an anomaly of anomaly. Is it? Can we ignore the human aspect of it?

 

I see this whole incident reflects the depravity of human nature. A visit to Cambodia Genocide Museum or the Holocaust Memorial Center will testify to that. Any person is capable of devising a diabolic scheme to achieve his goal whilst inflicts maximum pain upon his fellowmen. The person behind this tragedy is one such being, who deliberately shutdown all radar signals to evade the detection of its diverted flight path so as to fly far off course to somewhere unknown. Experts have come up with many suggestions to improve the technical aspects of the plane, tighten aviation procedures and airport security. However, at the end of the day, none of these measures can beat the power of human mind when it is used in the wrong way.

 

Can we fully comprehend what these passengers (including babies) went through during the whole journey? Are we able to adequately describe the anguish and turmoil faced by their families? The possibility of no closure or answers on their loved ones is a very painful thing to live with. My heart really goes to them.