Thursday, February 28, 2013

CT Scan & blood test results

'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (Philippians 4:6-7)

'Health is not valued till sickness comes.'(Thomas Fuller)


My CT scan result shows that my left gastric node is stable while my cancer marker readings (CA125,CA19-9,CEA)are more or less the same as 6 months ago. Since the node remains about the same size as it was first discovered in May 2011 scan, I have to go for scan only in a year's time instead of half-yearly, bearing unforeseen circumstances.

God has not finished with me yet. He still has tasks for me to do. Thanks for His amazing grace and mercy.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

C T Scan

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)


Yesterday afternoon I went for the scheduled CT scan and cancer marker blood tests (the last ones about six months ago). Even though I had went through such scan several times (to be exact, 6 rounds), I still felt uneasy when they injected dye into my body. I could experience the warmness in my body as the dye travelled into my bloodstream, and the sensation akin to poison. I was also fearful that I might be allergic to the dye. Before the scan begun, one has to drink 3 big cups of special drink, which was another unpleasant thing.

I will get my report next Wednesday when I see my oncologist.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Passionate Love vs Compassionate Love

'Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.' (Henry Van Dyke)

Today is Valentine"s Day. What a thing to talk about passionate and companionate love.!  Rightfully love does not need a specific date to express. We ought to express love on every occasion. It should be an everyday affair. Unfortunately love is such a time-consuming activity, with busyness and worries of life take us far away from it. More and more we need to be reminded about love. This is especially true for couples who have married to each other for some years.

Studies show that couples enjoy a big happiness boasts that lasts on the average for only 2 years. It is passionate kind of love. After that, the special joy starts to wear off when familiarity breeds contempt, or in some cases, indifference to one another. Of course, other forces come to play too such as change in expectations, careers and bringing up children. When couples become so familiar to each other as a sibling, we can cease to be attractive to one another. The danger is when one starts to crave for variety and novelty. So every marriage needs to rebuild in order to strive. In reality, there is no such thing as ‘marriage made in heaven’.

All is not lost. Studies show that couples can have another chance of marriage bliss- i.e. when their children moved out of the family home. The empty nest offers abundant opportunities for them to rediscover and surprise each other. That love becomes more companionate in nature. If they failed to make use of this opportunity, that’s the end of the road for their marriage. Regrettably, many couples at this stage choose to become indifference to one another instead. To me, this is the greatest threat to any marriage. I would rather have quarrels or disagreements than to endure indifference, which is really a mental torture.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Trials

"It's wonderful what God can do with a broken heart, if He gets all the pieces." (Samuel Chadwick)


Early this week I suddenly received a message from my daughter’s tutor that she has to stop giving tuition with immediate effect as she is not feeling well and is in low spirit. We do not know exactly what happened, be it her health issues or family matters. Nevertheless, it must be quite serious to cause her to make such an abrupt decision.

Indeed, trial can come any moment in our lives and no one can run away from it. What matters most is not so much what happens to us, but how we deal with it. In fact, people make surprised and big discoveries in time of darkness in their lives.We gain the right perspective on many things when we are brought down to our knees. It is said that sometimes a dark tunnel is the shortest way round a hill.

I am particularly inspired by Mary Stevenson’s poem, “Footprints in the Sand”. Mary was born in a big family. She lost her mother at the age of six. Most of her childhood was spent during The Great Depression. When she was sixteen she entered into an abusive marriage that resulted in her having to run away and finding refuge with her infant son.Inspired by the many things that had affected her life, she wrote this beautiful poem. May those who are in distress gain strength and comfort from it in their time of need.

                          One night I dreamed I was walking
                          along the beach with the Lord.
                          Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
                          In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
                          Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, 
                          other times there were one set of footprints.
                         This bothered me because I noticed that
                         during the low periods of my life,
                         when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,
                         I could see only one set of footprints.
                         So I said to the Lord,
                         "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you,
                         you would walk with me always.
                         But I have noticed that
                        during the most trying periods of my life,
                        there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
                        Why, when I needed you most,
                        you have not been there for me?"
                        The Lord replied,
                        "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints,
                        is when I carried you."

 (Mary Stevenson)

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Insensitive netizens

“Bereavement is the sharpest challenge to our trust in God; if faith can overcome this, there is no mountain which it cannot remove.” (William Ralph Inge)

It breaks my heart to read how by one fateful evening, a couple lost all their lovely children through a horrific road accident. At the same time I am also equally heart-broken to read that there are netizens who were quick to post those gruesome photos of the dead bodies over the internet. Some were even taken at a close distance from the scene of the accident.

These people have become so utterly immune to the feelings of others. All they care is how many viewership they can get from their postings. How I hope they can conjure up the image of the kids’ mother on that evening at the scene of the accident through these lines: “The mother rushed to the scene, falling to her knees, wailing in front of her two sons’ dead bodies. Her loud screaming could be heard from two HDB blocks away.”

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

LDL Shock

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick; but when hopes are realized at last, there is life and joy." (Proverbs 13:12)

I went for the free health screening test organized by a community club nearby last month . I have not gone for any such test for the past four years after I have cancer as my whole attention is devoted to fighting cancer.

After I have cancer, I have been very careful on my diet. So when I collected my health screening report, I was shocked to find out my LDL Cholesterol (bad one) is at 5.1 mmol/L where the desirable reading is 3.4. My HDL cholesterol and triglycerides are OK. I was advised to seek medical follow-up immediately. I went to a polyclinic and was told by the doctor that l I can experience heart attack within 2 years with such high reading! I was put under Statin (which helps to block enzyme from liver that produces cholesterol) straight away.

The surge of my bad cholesterol may be due to the removal of my ovaries which caused the sudden plunge in estrogen. Without estrogen in helping to control the amount of fat, called lipids, the LDL can increase rapidly. Consuming mainly fish for past few years gave me the false sense of security, not realizing that fish also adds cholesterol to my body though lesser extent compares to red meat. So now I am cutting down on fish and eat at least a cup of boiled barley a day. Barley contains soluble fiber called beta-glucan ( also found in other grains such as oats) which may help to lower cholesterol level by reducing the absorption of cholesterol and fat into the bloodstream. I will also try to eat more fish that have Omega-3 oil such as salmon, ikan terubok, tengiri papan (according to HPB handbook).

Of course, I also understand that diet will take much longer time to produce result. The best method is still in engaging moderate-intensity aerobic activity such as brisk-walking which I try to achieve at least 150 minutes per week. Qigong apparently is not effective in this instance.

I will have to go for cholesterol test again in 2 months’ time; hopefully all these efforts produce results.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Franchising

‘The leech has two daughters: Give and Give. Three things are never satisfied; four never say,”Enough”.’ (Proverbs 30:15)

 My spouse has been thinking of venturing into some kind of small business when he retired. One day we received a flyer in our mail box and came to know that a franchise fair would be held in a convention centre. In the fair, we came to this printing franchise booth. We expressed interest in it since no investment in fixed assets and premise are required.  Moreover we were comfortable with the upfront fee, about 10k plus.

The ‘business model’ works like this. After paying the upfront fee, we are required to register the company with ARCA. After that we have to source for your own customers and quote own price whilst the franchisor will offer a partner price for the printing. The difference is the profit for us. The printing company supposed to offer some relevant training in products, sales and marketing.

Thank God that before we went for the 3-hour talk held at night at the franchisor’s office (quite sure there would be hard selling), we thought it would be better to search through the internet to see any review put up on this franchise. Indeed someone shared his bad experience of not getting trainings and lack of transparency. We learn some valuable points from this:

1. Do not spend money on any business idea that is not clear to you.
2. It is not easy to start a business - as you have to take care of many issues, such as marketing, finances, recruiting people, collecting debts etc.
3. It is better to help a friend to run an existing business, so that you are aware of the business issues, before you start a business on your own.
4. Read the terms of the agreement carefully before signing on the dotted line. Any verbal agreement is not enforceable.
5.You may have to incur follow-up investments, not just the upfront fee.

Come to think of it, the printing business is already highly saturated. Only large firms with capital and connections can profit in a big way. The rest survive on razor-thin margins.This printing firm makes a smart move to start its franchise scheme. Printing money this way is easier than printing leaflets and brochures. All it needs is to get 3 or 4 persons to sign up its franchise per month to hit at least half a million turnover a year.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Cognitive vs character hypothesis

“After a recent presentation, somebody asked me what I considered to be the “best investment?” I responded after some thinking that I considered the best investment to be the education of one’s children. Later that day I thought that the answer might not have been interpreted the way I meant it. What I meant in terms of education was not the University or School that mattered, but the values parents can teach their children. And by values I mean tradition, culture, manners, ethics, humility and also - politeness, integrity, punctuality, reliability and dependability - as well as compassion and generosity toward people who are less fortunate.” ( Marc Faber, a famous investor)

What makes a person successful? The “cognitive hypothesis” is based on the belief that success depends primarily on cognitive skill, the kind of intelligence that gets measured on I.Q. tests. The best way to develop these skills is to practice them as much as possible, beginning as early as possible. Paul Tough in his book, “How Children Succeed,” argues that the “character hypothesis” which is based on non-cognitive skills, like persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness and self-confidence, is more crucial than sheer brainpower to achieving success. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. We witnessed from the human history how smart people started well in their early lives but crumbled later on because of their character weaknesses.

The sad thing is that children from both rich and poor family backgrounds are facing stresses from different sources that hinder them from developing non-cognitive skills. For the rich children, the main cause of distress comes from excessive achievements pressures and isolation from their parents, both physically and emotionally. They are also largely insulated from adversity in life even when they reached young adulthoods. A moderate amount of adversity is a good thing for kids as they build character and resilience.

On the other hand, poor children are facing endless challenges in life- poor nutrition and medical care, dysfunctional home. Growing up in stressful environments made them generally harder to concentrate, harder to sit still, harder to rebound from disappointments and harder to follow directions. They are also easily overwhelmed by impulses and negative feelings. The only way to counter such stresses these children faced is by providing them with attentive, responsive parenting, which unfortunately is absent.

Since character is the key to children succeeding in school and in life, can it be taught? I believe so but it is going to take longer time and efforts from my own experience. To improve academic performance is easier than for character development. Take for example, my student was able to improve his maths score within 6 months from a pass to almost A* through intensive practices. However, I have a hard time in his character development which has to come from lessons in his real life situations and relationships which cannot be taught overnight. I am glad that government has intervened through the introduction of ‘Character & Citizenship’ education and Edusave Award for Character. This is the right direction to take. Though we are not sure whether we would succeed in such initiatives, at least we try.

Hopefully through all these interventions and efforts, we can mitigate stressed early relationships experienced by these children. As a tutor to a child coming from a dysfunctional home, I should have known better- educating a child without character development is incomplete.